Forty Pound Sack

Happy Valentine's Day!!

2012-02-14T07:00:00.000-06:00

I hope you all have a day filled with love and hugs and those yummy nuggets of chocolate that come in the red foil heart boxes. My friend Cheri says, " I know a lot of people think it's a silly holiday HOWEVER, I love it. Any reminder to tell someone that you care about them can only be good right?" I could not agree more, my friends. Hugs to you all, and Happy Valentine's Day!!

Weekly Spark and a Little Rant

2012-02-12T06:59:00.000-06:00

Up at the crack of dawn again. Not sure why I'm not sleeping. I've all but cut out caffeine and there's no real stress keeping me up. My mom's theory is that I'm just so excited to start my day. Who knows.

Before I do my SparkPeople update, I want to rant, just a bit, on something that happened after the death of Whitney Houston yesterday. Whitney Houston was an amazing artist but like so many talented performers, she was troubled. So last night, at a pre-Grammy party, Tony Bennett gets up onstage and gives a little speech. He cites Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse, and now Whitney Houston, all gone too soon. I thought what was coming next was a plea to artists to stop using drugs. Well, not quite. Mr Bennett instead urged everyone in the audience to contact their legislators to legalize drugs. He feels that if drugs were legal, people could get them from a licensed professional rather than off the street. Sigh.

With all due respect to Mr Bennett, this is the most asinine thing I have heard in a long time. First of all, Michael Jackson was not using street drugs. He died of an overdose of drugs that were prescribed and administered by a medical doctor. Amy Winehouse died of alcohol poisoning. Alcohol is already legal. And nobody knows, yet, what caused Whitney Houston's death. So, Mr Bennett, your comments hold no weight. In my opinion, they were also inappropriate.

End of rant. =)

On to my weekly Spark Update. Sometime this week I passed the "ten pounds gone" milestone. I'm currently down 10.6 pounds total. I'm happy with that. I'm not sure I'm being realistic with my goal of wearing my daisy Capris on vacation in April, but I'm in "wait and see" mode. I did mark my calendar for the two weekends before we leave in case I need to go shopping. I dread the idea of buying new clothes at this point, but I can't run around Disney in my pajamas. Which, now that I think about it, wouldn't work even if I wanted to try it, because earlier this week I got out of bed and my pajama pants fell off. They are very loose. I have two pair the same, so that pretty much ensures I'll be shopping for new jams, if nothing else.

Saturday

2012-02-11T23:11:00.000-06:00

Saturday morning I got up early. I didn't want to, but the last couple weeks I've been awake by 9:30. Considering I go to bed at 6 am, well, that's not good. But I can't seem to get back to sleep, so eventually I get up. Today, I stayed in bed until almost 11 before I called it done.

Before we could go visit the kitties, we stopped to drop off a gift for my friend Cheri. Just before Christmas, Cheri was diagnosed with cancer. She started chemotherapy a couple weeks ago. Cheri is one of the most genuinely kind people I have ever known. She truly lives with an open mind and an open heart. She's been really amazing through this fight, but she has some bad days, too. So I got her what I call "comfort in a box", the softest blanket you could ever imagine. It's softer even than baby blankets. It's made of fuzzy micro fleece. Best of all, it comes with matching socks. It's not much but I hope it makes her feel a little better on the bad days.

Cheri lives up in the north woods, but when she has treatments she stays here in town with her parents, so that's where we dropped the box. Her dad answered the door and I explained who I was and that I wanted to leave the box for Cheri. From somewhere in the house I heard Cheri's mom call "Hi!" to me. I'd only met her once, years ago, but she remembered me, and she commented that I had been such a good friend to Cheri's brother, Mike. That made me feel so good - that she remembered me, and that she knew of my friendship with Mike.

When I started my current job, Mike was my mentor. It was just the two of us, working the night shift together. I remember telling Walker when I was hired - before Mike and I met - that I really hoped we got along, cause there was no one else in the office at night. Imagine how miserable it could have been. The days that Mike and I worked together were the best days in this job. When he retired it was bittersweet. Mike and his wife moved overseas, where they had a beach house ready and waiting. It's amazing to see him live his dream, but I sure miss him, and his lovely wife, too. She is a fabulous cook, so Walker also misses her. I keep up with them on Facebook. Their photos are gorgeous. Someday, it would be incredible to visit. Someday. Walker would probably refuse to leave.

Anyway: we had a nice, but brief, chat, with Cheri's parents. We couldn't linger because we had a load of supplies in the car and it was still so stinking cold, I didn't want the stuff to freeze. The animal shelter was pleased to get our donation, and we spent about an hour visiting the dogs and kitties. I've never thought seriously about getting a dog - we work too much for a dog - but there was this one dog there, a big girl, an older dog - and she was on the "extended stay" list, which means she's been there for at least a couple months. It's a nice shelter, a big new building on a large lot, but she's been in that cage for months. Of course I started crying. Maybe visiting the animals wasn't such a great idea. What cheeses me is, I looked at pets on Craig's list and there were many offers for baby animals, several with comments like, "This is her fourth litter" and the like. I really wish more people would spay and neuter. There are so many beautiful animals looking for homes.

After the visit we went to the mall. I have half a dozen pieces of jewelry my aunt wants listed on eBay. Well, I'm happy to do that, but I don't know what the stones are. I was hoping someone at the mall could tell me. There are half a dozen jewelry stores. That was my main reason for stopping, so imagine how irritated I was when I realized I had not brought the jewelry with me. Sigh. Walker needed some new swim trunks, so we did shop for those, but he wasn't in a hurry and I really wanted to get those pieces listed this weekend. In hindsight, the stores were probably busy, what with it being the last weekend before Valentine's Day. I'll probably get better service going next weekend.

If I Didn't Know Better, I'd Think It Was Winter!

2012-02-11T05:12:00.001-06:00

Looks like the party's over, at least for a while. Sometime after I came home from work Friday morning, the temps started dropping and the wind picked up. We went from 34 degrees to a wind chill of minus ten. We've gotten way too used to forty degrees.

I had to put the liner back in my new purple coat. I had to find gloves. I thought I would skip my walk on Friday evening, but almost instinctively I geared up and headed out right on time. I told myself I didn't have to walk the whole 1.25 mile loop. There are a couple places where I can short cut back to the office if I need to. I passed them without hesitation. When the cold got to be too much, I started jogging. Yep, jogging. I do not know where this person came from but she sure looks like me. Only it can't be me because the only things that could make me voluntarily run would be one of the kids in trouble or a cattle prod. Neither was in sight. Yet I started jogging. When I wanted to quit, I picked a landmark up ahead and told myself I could go back to walking when I passed it. Only when I actually did pass it, I just picked another landmark and kept jogging.

So it seems I'm changing more than my eating habits. And can I tell you? It feels pretty darn good to know that I sucked it up and did something good for myself, even when I had a valid excuse to skip it. Yay, me!

Kitty Conversations

2012-02-10T06:43:00.000-06:00

At the grocery store this morning I picked up a couple gallons of bleach and 64 cans of kitty food. We'll be bringing these gifts to the animal shelter tomorrow. Diva and I want to play with the kitties. Consider it a bribe, LOL.

Walker and I have been discussing getting another kitty, or two. Walker is "sort of" okay with one baby kitten. I think cats do well with a feline companion, so I'm lobbying for two. I'm also not sure I want to dive into kitten-hood again. I remember coming home from work when Ernie was a baby. I could hear her yowling all the way down the hall to our apartment. She would climb the curtains and get stuck up there. Every. Stinking. Day. We weren't technically allowed to have pets so I was always tearing down the hall as fast as my tired feet would carry me. I'm surprised nobody ratted us out with all her wailing. Curtain climbing was only part of the battle. There was shredded toilet paper, houseplants dug up and dragged around, flower vases knocked over (not to mention destroyed flowers and puddles of water), trash cans tipped over, and don't get me started on Christmas trees. They are just one giant cat toy. Ernie's brother, Sassy, used to drink the tree water and barf all over the model train I had under the tree. Guess it was a good thing I didn't have a Nativity scene. I'm going to have enough to atone for at the Pearly Gates without having to apologize for kitty barf on the Baby Jesus.

So kittens are fun but boy, they do take work. Walker has never had the pleasure, he has no idea that two pounds of fur can wreak absolute havoc. But he isn't thrilled with the idea of an older cat. I pointed out that if we got a baby now, and she lived as long as Ernie, Walker would be 70 before that kitty crossed the bridge. He wants to travel when he retires. He had to give some thought to the idea that we'd be more tied to home if we had pets. I think we need to put the whole conversation on the shelf for now. If we're not 100% sure, we need to wait.

Zumba, Baby!

2012-02-08T05:26:00.000-06:00

So long ago I don't remember when, I bought a Zumba kit: a series of DVDs designed to teach a klutz like me Latin dancing for a great cardio workout. I was gonna be buff in no time! Just one problem: buying the kit isn't enough. You actually have to open it, play it, and follow along. Who knew?

So finally, after all these months, I opened the box. I played the DVD. I followed along. I was so excited to FINALLY be learning Zumba. I couldn't even pretend I was keeping up.

I'm sure one of those DVDs has a tutorial explaining how to do the steps. Being me, I didn't look for it. I just jumped in to the first routine I found. Hmmm.... might not be the best way to approach it. So I trolled around online and found a Zumba for Wii game. The reviews said it had instructions for each step, along with single song routines, short classes, moderate classes, long classes, and a section where you could program your own routine. Ha! This was exactly what I needed to get started. I could move up to the DVD later.

When I opened the game I discovered it came with a "belt". Wii games are video games that use a hand held controller. For Zumba, you strap the belt on and put the controller in a pocket over your hip. When you do the moves, the controller sends feedback showing if you're doing them right. My first single song routine? I got 54% of the moves right. Not bad for a first try. My second song I got 98%. Who says I can't dance? After five songs my average score was 84%. I also learned I had burned 208 calories.

The game starts out with some basic routines. As you play, you earn "stars". The stars add up and eventually, you "unlock" more songs and more routines. I played long enough and well enough to earn over 20 stars, enough for an extra song. It was so much fun ~ I can't wait to play again!

Weekly Spark

2012-02-06T00:34:00.000-06:00

I don't know what I weigh this week. Sunday morning I hopped on the scale and saw that I was down two pounds, let out a "Wohoo!" and hopped back off. Walker heard me screeching and poked his head in the bathroom to inform me that the scale wasn't working. Not sure how he could determine that, I hopped back on. Up seven pounds. Oh - that's how.

I changed the batteries and weighed myself four more times. I was careful not to move the scale when I got on and off it. I got four very different readings, from a two pound loss to a whopping nine pound gain. We went shopping for a new scale that afternoon. Of course, by then, I'd had a couple glasses of water and a Coke Zero, not to mention breakfast. I like to weigh myself first thing, so I can get a consistent reading. So I don't have an official weigh in this week.

Instead, I'm happy to report some measurements. Spark People recommends taking your measurements once a month. You don't have to, and it's something I've never done before. I always just went by my weight. But this time I thought, what the heck, and took some measurements when I started the plan. One month later, I've lost one inch in my waist and one inch in my hips. My upper arm stayed the same. Spark People doesn't record bust measurements.

I had a couple really hungry days this week. I assume they're hormone related. I used to get really hungry for three or four days before my cycle started, and I would crave salt like crazy. I had a hysterectomy a couple years ago, but I still have the hungry days and the salt cravings every couple weeks. I should probably start tracking it, so I can be better prepared. I ended up going over my calorie limit by a couple hundred calories, but only once. I figure that will balance with the couple days I was at the low end of the goal.

Great Big Sigh of Relief.....

2012-02-04T04:24:00.000-06:00

Don't know if y'all noticed, but earlier this week Blogger decided my blog was spam and shut it down. No warning, no recourse, nothing. I just tried to open it and found it gone. I've been having computer problems - I think I have a faulty router - so I thought that was it, until I got to my office and had the same issues there. I dug around a bit after I got home again, and that's when I learned Blogger uses anti-spam software that shuts blogs down whenever one is flagged. One site said that if you leave too many comments, you'll be flagged as a spammer. I don't remember how many comments I left last week but I doubt it was all that many, considering. Probably half a dozen a day.

So I sent a request to Google, asking them to review my status. I mean, there is no way anyone who actually read a couple pages would think my blog was spam, right? But my research indicated that when blogs get shut down they usually stay that way. So, to be on the safe side, I started a new blog. The problem was, how to let my peeps know where I was and what had happened. You aren't supposed to put blog addresses in the comments section of other blogs. Didn't want to break any rules! I was able to leave a couple comments with "formerly fortypoundsack" in the name field. Mostly, I was just sick over the loss of my blog. All my words and photos, all my comments from friends.....just.....gone. I was pretty bummed. And a little ticked off.

Imagine my glee when - ta dah! - Google waved their magic wand and reinstated me. So relieved! And very happy to be connected to y'all again. I have to admit, I'm pretty lazy about my blog links. I always click on the list in my sidebar to see what my blogger buddies are up to. Without access to my blog I was scrambling to remember how I could find each of you again. I'm going to save all the blogs I read as bookmarks, just in case I get shut down again.

Never a dull moment around here, that's for sure!

Outside My House, Right Now

2012-02-01T06:11:00.000-06:00

Not the best photo I've ever taken, but I love it anyway. It's very peaceful outside this morning. The sky is just starting to lighten. The air is downright balmy. I expect this little bit of snow we just got will be gone by nightfall. I hope you all have a great day. I'm off to bed ~

Weekly Spark and Then Some

2012-01-30T00:34:00.003-06:00

Another Sunday, another Spark People update. I lost 1.4 pounds this week. That's a total of eight pounds since I started this program at the beginning of January. Not bad. Everyone keeps telling me that ten pounds is a size, but not on me. My pants are a little looser, but nowhere near too loose and I can't even get pants the next smaller size buttoned, no matter how much stretch they have or how much I suck in. It will be awhile before I drop an actual size.

I got out my very cute "goal pants", denim Capris embroidered with daisies down one leg. I hope to wear them in Florida in a couple months. They are one size smaller but when I tried them on they aren't even close to fitting, so I measured them. The waist is FIVE INCHES smaller than the jeans I'm wearing now. Sigh. Why is there such a lack of consistency in sizing? I've pretty much given up ordering pants online or from a catalog. Tops aren't so bad, shoes are okay, but pants? Forget it. I have spent a small fortune in mailing fees returning things that didn't fit.

I've been doing my walking, one way or the other. I usually end up going to a grocery store or Walmart after work to finish up my step goal. We're having great weather here, much warmer than usual, which is great except that we're getting snow melt during the day that refreezes at night, causing icy streets and sidewalks. I don't let it stop me but it does slow me down. When I come up short on steps, I find a 24 hour store and walk the aisles. I thought about walking the mall but I like to go after work, which means middle of the night for me. I wonder if I could walk the hospital corridors? Probably not. That would be awesome, though. They have some long, long hallways, plus many, many stairs. I could get a fabulous workout. Too bad I don't have any connections at the hospital anymore. The only way to get inside after hours is through the emergency room, and I doubt they would just let me wander.

Speaking of the hospital, I got a letter from the cancer center on Saturday. I figured it was an appointment card, so I opened it immediately. Unfortunately, it was not an appointment card. It was a letter from my oncologist. He's leaving the cancer center as a doctor, becoming a patient. He has inoperable pancreatic cancer. I am just so, so sad about this. The prognosis for pancreatic cancer is very grim.

This week is shaping up to be as jam-packed as the last couple have been. I have a couple appointments in the afternoons before work, a family birthday, and mandatory overtime at the office. Walker is still helping his mom. Some time this week I have to take my car in for service, too. When I put it in park, it doesn't always engage far enough and I can't remove the key. Never had that happen before, so I want to get it checked out. Not sure if it's just annoying or something potentially dangerous. What I know for sure is, there's always something to contend with. I don't know what I'd do with myself if I had a whole day free.

Something Pretty

2012-01-29T15:33:00.001-06:00

Way back in October I bought an amaryllis bulb from a pink ribbon fundraiser. I knew I had grown these before, but I couldn't remember much about the experience. Why didn't I grow these every year? Now I know: these things are HUGE! The plant grew to be three and a half feet tall, and the blossoms are eight inches across. I had this on the dresser in the guest bedroom, but it grew so tall it nearly touched the ceiling. I had to move the pot to the floor. But it sure is pretty! Just the thing to brighten a cold, snowy winter day.

TGIF, Peeps!

2012-01-27T07:16:00.000-06:00

Holy crow, where did the week go??? I'm not complaining. Friday night can't get here fast enough. I'm looking forward to the break.

Walker has been spending the mornings at his mom's new house, helping her get everything set up. He also hauled two loads of donations to Goodwill from the old house. That house is empty now, with fresh paint on the walls and freshly steamed carpets. Hopefully someone will fall in love with it so they can get it sold. This time of year is pretty slow for real estate around here. The old house is gorgeous, and it's in a great neighborhood. I think they have a good shot at making a sale.

With Walker gone, I have more housework and more errands to do. The good news is, I've made my walking goals this week. Between the extra running I have to do, and my scheduled fitness walks, making the goal has been easy-peasy. We're having unseasonably warm weather, and I'd taking full advantage of it. It feels so good to get outside and get moving. Looks like I need to shop for walking shoes, though. The ones I had in the closet are giving me blisters. When I dug them out I thought, "Hmm, why haven't I been wearing these? They look almost new." Well, now I know. They don't fit properly. I also ordered a new coat. I have two right now: one white and one black leather. Since I do most of my walking during dark time, I thought I should get myself a bright color. I want to stand out in the dark and against the snow. I ended up choosing bright lavender, with a zip out liner so I can wear it through spring. I ordered it online and got 50% off. Can't beat that! The hard part is waiting until it gets here.

The last couple nights my mom and I have been watching for signs of the aurora, but we've had heavy cloud cover. I saw the aurora once, late on a warm spring night, and my friends and I sat up til sunrise in the park across from our house, just watching. It was magical. I hope, someday, to see that again.

Smile!

2012-01-24T05:28:00.000-06:00

We got the freezing rain that was forecast, followed by a couple inches of fresh snow. All day, cars coming down the hill toward my house skidded and spun, fishtailing around the corner. It was not fun to watch that. I was very grateful for my new SUV after an uneventful drive into the office. I would not have wanted to brave those roads in my little convertible. We've been spoiled this winter by unseasonably warm temps and lack of snow.

Miss Diva's school was closed, so Gramma took advantage of the free day and took Diva to the dentist. Her parents don't make dental care a priority. Diva had not been to a dentist since she started school six years ago. She needs to have two cavities filled. She called, so excited, after her appointment. She told Walker, "I'm done at the dentist and I didn't even cry!" She didn't even care that she has to go back for the fillings.

When I was little, my mom sometimes got public assistance. My parents were divorced and my mom is disabled. She worked when she could, but sometimes, she wasn't able. There was one dentist in town who would take public assistance patients, so that's who we went to. The summer I was seven my back molars came in, and I guess I wasn't brushing back far enough. I got cavities in all eight molars. Our dentist would not give Novocaine to public assistance patients. I got all eight teeth drilled with no pain reliever. He did one side at a time, and after the first two hour appointment I was so scared to go back and have the other side done. I cried all the way there in the car. Not long after that, my dad's job offered dental insurance, so my mom found a new dentist for us. The first time I got Novocaine, I couldn't believe how painless the procedure was. Still, I'm surprised I voluntarily go to the dentist now. Those scars run deep.

Weekly Spark

2012-01-23T00:34:00.000-06:00

So this week I lost eight tenths of a pound. My scale weighs in tenth of a pound increments, which I usually like but in this case, I would have done better if I had a scale that rounded up, LOL. I don't care that it's under a full pound; at least I'm moving in the right direction.

I got in two of my four scheduled workouts on the elliptical machine. I think I should have started out a little slower with that, as I got pretty sore after my second workout. I probably could have done ten or twelve minutes at a crack, instead of fifteen, and maybe gone for three workouts the first couple weeks instead of four. I'm still planning to do number three tonight, so if I actually do it I'll only have missed one. I didn't do it earlier, as I would have preferred, because the machine is in our bedroom and Walker was asleep. I added some light toning exercises with small hand weights this week, too, fifteen minutes at a time. Bye - bye, flabby arms, LOL! Maybe I can even wear sleeveless on my vacation. Maybe.

I'm still coming in too low on my daily protein intake. Spark People offers menu selections but you don't have to use them. I want to use them, but we had a full pantry along with a full freezer so I thought we should use up as much of that food as possible, restocking with healthy options. And that's what we've been doing, but it's slow going with just the two of us here. I should have started the inventory reduction before Bro moved out.

We got some snow this week, which I shoveled instead of having Walker hit it with the snow blower. Walker doesn't like me to shovel, but I got it when he wasn't home. That wasn't too hard to do, since instead of coming home after work on Friday Walker went to the tavern with his work buddies. He didn't come home for fifteen hours. So I had plenty of time to shovel, and the work helped me burn off some of my anger at him. Who stays at a bar for 15 hours? Sigh. To prevent me from shoveling, Walker stashes the shovel in the rafters in the garage where I can't reach it. I got some additional exercise using the ice chopper to maneuver the shovel down. In hindsight, I probably should have used something lighter, like a broom, as the shovel knocked into it when it finally fell and I narrowly missed catching it with my face. A black eye would have created way more drama that I need right now.

So the goals for the upcoming week: keep working on adding protein to my diet, try to make my exercise goal of four fifteen minute elliptical workouts for the week, and write a honey-do list for Walker that is long enough to keep him out of the dang tavern.

Disney, Revisited

2012-01-22T01:36:00.002-06:00

Fireworks at Cinderella's Castle. The Castle is decked out in Christmas lights that changed colors from white to blue to purple to pink to peach. It was simply magical.

I thought I told y'all about our upcoming vacation, but from some recent comments, it sounds like I forgot. So here's the scoop: this spring, we are flying back to Orlando for the EPCOT International Flower and Garden Festival at Disney World. Walker and I have visited Orlando pretty much every year since we got together, but we've never gone during the F&G Fest. Gardening is one of my hobbies, so I'm super excited. Initially, Bro and my nephews were going to join us so we rented a big vacation house in a time share community, but Bro wasn't able to get time off work, so we're going to have some extra room. Our house looks amazing: game room, home theatre, private pool with a spill over spa, lanai.....And the community has a putting green, a water park style swimming pool, an exercise room, a movie theatre, and a club house with pool tables and video games. They have volley ball and tennis courts. There's even a ginormous chess set. There are playgrounds, too, which we won't be needing, but good to note for next time. I wish we could take Diva, but she wants to go to camp at Sea World, which she can't do until she's 12, and that's a pricey experience, so we have to save up. If she goes now, she has to give up camp. We discussed it and she really, really wants to go to camp. So she decided to wait.

Mickey at the Street Party. Notice there is nobody on the sidewalk behind him. That is really, really unusual.

Anyway, I found the house online through All Star Vacation Homes and I hope it really is as nice as it looks. You never know, when you look at this stuff, how long ago the photos were taken or if they've been retouched. The company has good reviews and the house we chose does, too, so I think we'll be fine. Orlando has so many rentals to choose from, I think the owners have to keep things up or they'll never get their places rented.

We came out of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride and found Goofy, hanging out by himself. Walker stepped up and had a photo taken. The first week in February is a great time to visit Disney if you hate crowds.

One of the reasons we decided to go for a vacation house, in addition to having more space, was that we all had enough frequent flier miles for free plane tickets. We usually go the budget route and stay at the Best Western, but figured with seven of us going and no airfare to pay for we could upgrade. Well, when we started this whole process we each needed 30,000 airline miles for a ticket. My mom was a couple hundred miles short, but she has one of those rewards credit cards so she did her Christmas shopping and earned enough miles to qualify. Only, the miles get posted to your account just once a month, and while we were waiting for her miles to post the airlines decided to raise the price to 40,000 miles. We waited, hoping the price would come back down after the holidays. It didn't. It is now 50 - 60,000 miles, per person, depending on what time of day you want to fly. That's just nuts. We don't have that many miles and even if we did, I wouldn't pay that. We had already rented the house and paid a non-refundable deposit. What to do? Well, I figured out if we flew mid-week, we could get there for 32,500 miles. The folks at All Star Vacations were kind enough to change our reservation. I booked the tickets this week, and we all breathed a huge sigh of relief. With trip insurance, we paid $36 each for our airline tickets. Can't beat that!

Me, at Magic Kingdom last February

Along with the Flower and Garden Festival, we're going to Magic Kingdom, of course, and for the first time we're also going to Animal Kingdom at Disney World and to Universal Studios. My mom is coming with us, and another family member is meeting us there. We decided to have breakfast with Mickey Mouse and his friends, which requires a reservation made well in advance. I made the first set of reservations back in October. When we had to change the dates, I called to change the breakfast reservation, too, and had just two choices: 7:25 or 10:30. I chose the later one, as getting up at the crack of dawn to make the 7:25 reservation just didn't appeal to me, especially in light of the fact that we plan to go to the Magic Kingdom that day, and we always stay for the fireworks. That would have been a really, really long day.

My mom and her sissy, having breakfast with Minnie. Aren't they pretty? I hope I inherited their genes.

So that's my vacation news, LOL. Wish I could take y'all with me. How fun would that be? Sitting under a bright umbrella, sipping frozen Coke and watching the parade go by.....Right this minute, it's 20* with a wicked wind blowing snow all over the place. Tomorrow is supposed to warm up, but unfortunately, it's going to be just warm enough for freezing rain. A week in the Florida sun will be very, very welcome. It can't get here soon enough.

Walker and Friends on the rose walk ~

At Long Last.....

2012-01-20T04:32:00.000-06:00

I brought my camera along to Squeak’s birthday party last weekend so I could get some photos of the boys’ bedrooms. Well, I actually brought the camera to capture all the fun of Squeak’s big day, but while I was there….you get the point.

First up is Cubby’s Minnesota Vikings room. Note the curtains, sewn with love by my mom. She also made a pillow sham from the same fabric, but it's tucked under the comforter so you can't see it in the photos. I had lots of fun hunting down the decorative plaques, but it was a bit harder to find posters of his favorite players at reasonable prices. NFL stuff is so expensive! Cubby’s worth it, and I think he really liked the finished product.

Squeak’s room is the coolest kid room I have ever hung out in, and I have hung out in plenty as I was an inveterate babysitter during my high school years. His wallpaper border has jungle animals in the squares. Note his curtains, too; they have a vibrant tiger print. Gramma loved this fabric and was not put off by the fact that it was fleece. So this kid has what are probably the only fleece curtains in the tri-state area. My mom swears they will keep his room warmer. My mom also added the tiger print fabric to Squeak’s comforter, and made the matching pillow:

I also got the boys cool light switch plates, but of course I forgot to get photos. Cubby’s is stained glass, Vikings theme, of course. Squeak’s is plastic but it has three animal prints: leopard, zebra, and giraffe.

Bro shares custody of his boys with their mom, so a couple days a week he was coming home to an empty house. Well, not any more. I found this little girl hiding in a closet in the extra bedroom. Her name is Tristan. She came out of the closet when I found her, but after I petted her for awhile the kids found us, and Tristan relocated under the family room sofa:

Tristan has a brother, and Bro didn’t want to split them up, so he brought them both home. Unfortunately, Bruno is very shy and didn’t want to meet his new favorite auntie (that would be me) but I did find him hiding in his favorite spot behind the toilet paper in Bro’s bathroom closet. He didn’t seem to mind getting his picture taken, as long as I didn’t move the TP.

So that was last weekend. This week, Walker finally finished his work at his mom's old house - wahoo! - and he's taking a week off before he starts helping at the new house. The new house is new construction, so it needs things like curtain rods hung and shower doors installed. Nothing urgent, though, and Walker needs to catch up on some sleep. I got our airline tickets purchased for our upcoming vacation - wahoo! - but to get them using frequent flier miles we had to change our trip dates, which involved changing the timeshare, changing our vacation dates at work, and changing dinner reservations. Took longer than it should have because we're still having internet issues. I hope to tackle those this weekend. Slowly but surely, we're getting it all done ~

More of the Same

2012-01-18T06:21:00.000-06:00

I feel like I have lots of stuff to share and no time to share it. Hope y'all can bear with me. I finally got photos of the nephews' new bedrooms, plus photos of some new family members (no, Walker and I did not get any new pets) and of course I'm getting such a great education using Spark People, LOL. The photos will have to wait for another day because I got all of three hours of sleep last night and I'm fading fast. I'm doing double duty at home while Walker helps his mom set up her new home. They hope to be finished today. We're having issues staying connected to the internet, too. Not sure if our router is going, or the modem, or if it's the service provider. Trying to puzzle that out. But in the meantime, I wanted to check in. I miss you all and hope to get caught up with all my blogger pals this weekend. Stay warm!

Spark People Update

2012-01-15T23:02:00.001-06:00

Today marks the end of week two on my Spark People journey. I am down two more pounds, for a total of 5.8 since I started on January 2. I've learned a couple things, and I have more learning to go. What I found out so far? Well for one thing, my job is very sedentary. I wore a pedometer every day but I deliberately didn't try to work in more walking. I wanted to see where I've been so I would know what a reasonable goal is. Spark People recommends I walk 10,000 steps a day, which is a bit over four miles for me. In my last job, I had 10,000 steps in before I went to lunch every day. My goal at that time was 25,000 steps. Now, on the days that I work, I get about 5,000, consistently. So I guess right now 10,000 is a good goal.

I also learned that I don't eat enough protein. Spark People gives me a graph that shows not only calories but also the basic nutrition info for my meals and snacks. I only hit the mark for protein twice this week. Last week I didn't hit any goals for protein. I'm not worried about the two days I went over on calories and fat; the first day I made an egg dish (trying to bump up that protein!) and learned the hard way that I need to adjust the recipe for lower fat ingredients. The 14th was Squeak's birthday party. And yes, I ate the cake and ice cream. I will always eat cake and ice cream with the kids on their birthdays. I came in low today so that should balance out.

The last thing I learned is, I need to make exercise a higher priority. I only did my workout once this week. On the one hand, I still lost weight. But I want to tone up, too, and build my endurance, and strengthen my heart. I'm giving myself a break because, one, I was in a blue mood which seems to be lifting a bit now and two, we were exceptionally busy. I'm not going to beat myself up.

Weekly Progress

NUTRIENTS:	GOAL	1/9	1/10	1/11	1/12	1/13	1/14	TODAY
Calories:	1,200 - 1,550	1,180	1,189	1,256	1,823	1,328	1,561	923
Fat:	27 - 60	44	41	46	112	52	85	40
Carbohydrates:	135 - 252	114	158	136	123	139	137	93
Protein:	60 - 136	43	57	86	33	79	51	51

I So Did Not See That Coming

2012-01-13T16:55:00.000-06:00

It's been snowing here, finally. We were enjoying unseasonably warm temps until Wednesday, when the cold air blew in and brought snow with it. It's been coming down ever since, but lightly. The wind is a bigger deal than the snow. It's drifting my driveway to the point that I parked in the street last night. But this morning, I braved the drifts to get to the mailbox, since Walker, who usually gets the mail when he comes home, is still working at his mom's every day after work.

The envelope was addressed to me, handwritten, not printed. It was over sized, like a card or an invitation. At first I thought it was a wedding invitation from Walker's nephew, but that would likely be addressed to Walker. It didn't look like junk mail. So I opened it. It was a sympathy card from the vet. Everyone in the clinic signed it. It was a really sweet gesture. One that I was completely unprepared for.

I didn't realize just how much time I spent taking care of Ernie until she was gone. Meds in the morning, wash the food bowls, fill them up, do the eye drops, heat the rice bag. Repeat before work. Repeat again when I get home. Fluid injections after work, too. Brush her coat, clean her box, vacuum up the tracked out litter. I have big blocks of time now. I wasn't prepared for that, either.

Last night I looked at the kitties on the PetFinder website. There were so many! Too many. It's heartbreaking, especially for the older ones that are hard to place in homes. I wish I could take them all.

Attitude Adjustment

2012-01-12T06:30:00.000-06:00

I'm feeling like a bit of a brat after my rant against the airlines yesterday. Don't get me wrong - I think some reform is needed somehow. One night I was researching airfares, found a couple options, printed them out, and waited to hear from Walker, who was at work. Two hours later he called, we discussed our choices, picked one, and I attempted to make the reservations. Only the price had gone up by well over $100 in those two hours. Imagine if everyone did that. You're shopping for groceries, and by the time you get to the checkout all your items have new pricing. Spend an hour in the department store and while you're browsing, prices are constantly changing. You go out to dinner, order from a menu, and while you're eating, the price of your meal goes up 25 percent. Stores and restaurants would never do that. But the airlines do it, all the time.

I know this, and I know there isn't a dang thing I can do about it. So I need to get over it and realize that it's pretty cool that my family will be gathering in Florida for some fun in the sun. Not everyone gets to do this. I think sometimes I forget that. I need to start counting my blessings.

I Resign

2012-01-11T17:10:00.000-06:00

Way back last summer my family starting planning a trip. We wanted to gather in Orlando this spring, to partake in EPCOT's Flower and Garden Festival....festivities. We (and by "we" I mean "I") researched vacation houses, airfare, admission tickets, restaurants, and shows. We developed a budget, chose the dates, and decided which house we wanted to rent.

A trip like this, for us, requires diligent planning because it is so, so easy to let the costs spiral out of control. You get sucked into that, "Who cares, we're on vacation!" mentality, and the budget goes out the window in favor of plastic mouse ears and $10 ice cream sundaes. So I watch for ways to cut costs. One of the things I looked at was the airfare. We all have frequent flier accounts, though most of my family members don't pay attention to them. I had to reset passwords and verify security questions to get into those accounts to see where everyone was. It was worth it, though, when I discovered that my mom and my brother were very close to free tickets. I had a free ticket coming, too, so that would just leave Walker to have to purchase a ticket. All we had to do was earn a couple hundred airline miles for my mom and Bro and we'd be ready to book our tickets. Since we all have credit cards that earn airline miles, and Christmas was coming, we'd have the miles we needed in no time.

I forgot who I was dealing with.

I think that if the military wants to get information out of war prisoners, they should tell them that they are free to leave, just as soon as they book airline tickets for a family of four using frequent flier miles. Hell, let 'em pay cash! It won't matter. A couple hours of mucking around on the airline websites and they'll beg to be able to stop. They'll do anything. Trust me.

In the couple of weeks it took us to use our miles reward credit cards to earn a couple hundred miles, the airlines raise the requirement from 30,000 miles to 40,000 miles. My sister volunteered to transfer some of her miles to us, but then the rate went up from 40,000 to 50,000. Seriously? Last year we got free tickets for 25,000 miles each. In just a year it doubled? Why, yes. Yes, it did. Even if we took every one of my sister's miles - which the airlines charges you to transfer - we don't have enough.

So now, as the unofficial trip planner, I have to decide: do we wait to see if the fares come down? We could end up with really bad flights if we wait too long. Or we could just suck it up and pay cash for the tickets. They have a cash & miles combo deal, too, but that seems like a bad idea. You give up all your miles for a couple hundred dollars off the cash price, which is fine if you only travel once every couple years, but if you travel every year like Walker and I do it makes more sense to hold onto the miles and hope for a better redemption rate later on. We could combine accounts and give one person a free ticket. Sigh. I'm tired of making all the decisions. When I reach out to my team, they just tell me to do whatever I feel comfortable with. Thanks, guys!

It will be a long, long, long time before I agree to do this again.

Today

2012-01-08T23:51:00.000-06:00

I'll be honest: I really didn't feel like posting today. I really didn't feel like doing much of anything today, actually. I would have been perfectly content to camp out on the sofa with a fuzzy blanket and a stack of movies. But wallowing won't do me, or anyone else, any good. So I got up this morning determined not to let my blue mood get the best of me.

Walker and I took Diva to breakfast at the VFW, then we headed out to do some overdue errands. On our way to Sam's Club, we passed a pet store with a large sign on the lawn, "Kitties Here Today!". Of course we stopped. I told Diva, "We aren't bringing anyone home with us. We'll just go in, cuddle some kitties, and go." Um, okay. Sure. Unfortunately, the rescue group that was supposed to bring the kitties hadn't shown up. Why the pet store didn't take the sign down, who knows. So after we did our errands I decided to stop at the animal shelter. Just to visit. They aren't convenient, by the way. We had to drive over to the next town, then outside of town to the country. But I really wanted to play with the kitties. And they were closed. So we went home, skunked.

Today marked one week on Spark People. I'm happy to report, I'm down 3.8 pounds. I don't know the number I'm shooting for, I just want to be able to wear my stinkin' cute daisy capris come spring. They're one size smaller than I'm wearing now, so the goal is attainable, unless spring happens to come next week. With the weather we're having, I would not be surprised.

Anyway, one of the goals I signed up for was to tell someone about my goals. I thought that meant one person, but it turns out I have to tell one person every day for a week. If you care to comment on this post, I'm going to count you as a person told.

I decided to post a weekly update on my Spark success, and I plan to do this on Sunday night / Monday morning. I'm guessing these posts will be pretty darn boring, so feel free to skip them, LOL. I just need the accountability. I figure if I have to tell the world I screwed up royally, maybe I will work harder not to screw up.

She's Gone

2012-01-08T00:07:00.000-06:00

TaryTerre was right on the money about Ernie's limp. She was doing pretty well when I got up on Saturday, but by early afternoon her back legs gave out and she could no longer stand. I called Walker home from his mom's, and we contacted the vet. The clinic was closed but one of the doctors agreed to meet us there later that afternoon. I wasn't sure Ernie would last that long. All afternoon I held her. Finally, I handed her over to Diva so I could get ready to go. Diva was amazing - she laid down next to Ernie, petting her to keep her calm. When she could sense Ernie's distress, Diva picked her up and just held her until it was time for us to leave.

I didn't want to crate her, just wrapped her in her blankie and carried her to the car. Her breathing got ragged and she started struggling in my arms. Walker drove like a bat out of hell. We let ourselves into the clinic, Ernie barely hanging on. True to form, though, when the vet leaned in to pet her Ernie lifted her head, looked the vet right in the eye, and growled at her. Then she peed all over me. That's my girl! Feisty to the end.

I keep looking over at her spot on the sofa to check on her. I probably will for a while. I'm glad my little girl isn't hurting any more, but I miss her so much.

Ready for the Weekend

2012-01-07T03:21:00.000-06:00

Proving once again that cats have nine lives, Ernie has bounced back. It looks like her antibiotic shot kicked in. She's eating like a little piggy. She's developed a limp, but it hasn't slowed her down. I don't know what happened to her leg. If I had to guess, I'd say she probably tried to hop onto the sofa but didn't make it. It's better today than it was yesterday. Hopefully it'll be gone by the end of the weekend.

Now that this crisis has passed, at least for the moment, it's back to business as usual. Walker's mom is moving into a new condo, so the warmer weather we're having (50's! In January!) has been a real blessing. Walker works at his mom's for several hours each day, after he finishes at his job. We make a point of having dinner together every night but other than that, we haven't seen each other. I'm hoping they finish this weekend. I miss my sweetie.

I've been spending time each day at the SparkPeople website. I've been tracking my food, my water, and my walking. Yesterday I added a goal of doing 15 minutes of cardio, four times a week. I know that isn't enough, but I have to start somewhere. I'm just so out of shape, any exercise is a good thing. At the bottom of the nutrition page there's a box that evaluates your food intake. So far, I've stayed in my calorie goal four out of the five days, but the day I went over I went wayyyy over. I know what happened: I waited too long to eat, then I was famished so I ate too quickly; I didn't feel satisfied and kept eating. I do that sometimes when I get home from work. It's at the top of my list of things to work on. I think if I can fix that bad habit, it will go a long way toward helping me reach my goal.

Walker and I have a date Sunday morning for breakfast at the VFW. They only do this every so often, so we always try to make it. We like to support the VFW and most of their fundraisers are held in the evening. Walker thought we should skip this one, since I'm doing this diet thing, but I told him. "This isn't a diet, it's a lifestyle change. I'm not skipping anything that I'm not prepared to give up permanently." Sounds like a good plan, LOL, but only time will tell if it will work.

Downhill

2012-01-06T05:53:00.000-06:00

I called Ernie's vet yesterday morning, even though Walker and I had agreed to let nature run it's course. She still isn't eating much, and I couldn't believe she isn't suffering. I decided that I've had Ernie for almost 23 years but I've only had Walker for eight. Ernie has seniority. Besides, my mom taught me at a young age that it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind. So I did.

The vet agreed that bringing Ernie into the clinic would cause her too much stress, so she made up a syringe full of antibiotics and left it for us at the front desk. Walker picked it up and I administered it as soon as he got home. It's basically a last ditch effort to keep Ernie comfortable while we wait for her time to go. The vet said it will take a day or two to work. If she isn't perked up and eating by then, she won't ever be. I'll be sticking close to home again this weekend, taking care of my girl.

The good news is, apparently at this stage it's likely Ernie isn't feeling much pain. The kidney failure causes her thinking to get fuzzy, so she doesn't likely realize she's sick. Mostly she sleeps. It's not much, but it's comforting.

Some Kind of Amazing

2012-01-04T06:11:00.000-06:00

Since I spent the long weekend taking care of Ernie I had to make a grocery run during my dinner break at the office. I just got enough to get us through the rest of the week, since I have to watch the clock pretty close. Anyway, it's cold enough here that I just left everything in the car until I finished work. Turns out I got pretty lucky, because while I was standing in the driveway unloading the car I saw a shooting star zip across the sky. Then another. And while I stood there in awe, staring at the sky, shooter number three streaked past.

I zipped in the house to check on Ernie, then I grabbed the phone and called my mom as I headed back outside. There aren't many people I would call at 4a.m., but my mom is always up late and I knew she'd want to check out the sky. She told me there was a meteor shower going on, but she didn't think we'd be able to see it so she hadn't been outside. I was happy to tell her to give it a try.

A while later, I was just thinking I should probably head inside. I was getting cold, and I could see motion lights going off house by house by house as the paper boy made his rounds. I figured he'd be at my house shortly, and the extra light would make the meteors harder to see. About that time the biggest, brightest shooter yet streaked over my head, leaving a trail of light that lasted several seconds. I'm such a dork - I was bouncing around squealing like a little kid. I don't care - it was amazing.

Once, when I was little, I think maybe around seven, my sister, who was an avid star gazer, took me outside late at night to watch a meteor shower. She made popcorn and spread blankets in the grass and I got to stay out really, really late watching shooting stars zip across the sky. I remember being mesmerized by it, and have tried many times to view another. One night Walker and I drove out into the farmlands around town trying to see a meteor shower, but the clouds rolled in just as it got dark. The clouds have spoiled my viewing more than once. How lucky that I had groceries to unload, so I didn't miss this one, too.

Just to Recap......

2012-01-03T03:26:00.000-06:00

I realized that I have some new followers who probably don't know what's up with Ernie, so I wanted to say, first of all, welcome to my new friends. Second, about my kitty, Ernie: she's nearly 23 years old, and she has kidney failure and cancer. We opted not to treat the cancer, since there is no cure for the kidney failure and honestly? At 22 years and ten months old, Ernie is the oldest feline patient at our vet clinic. Why ruin whatever time she has left with chemotherapy? She already endures daily injections of subcutaneous fluid and twice daily eye drops, along with meds for chronic constipation. I thought that adding additional medical treatment would reduce the quality of her life more than it would help her. She does not appear to be in any pain, but a couple weeks ago she developed a cancer related eye condition that the vet said indicates the beginning of the end for my baby girl.

Since that night I've turned into one of those helicopter moms, hovering over her trying to determine how she's feeling at any given time. We keep a spreadsheet of her meds and her litter box activities, and I try to keep track of what she's eating. It's hard, sometimes, as she helps herself when she has the opportunity. She become a food thief if you leave a plate unattended. Or, you know, take dinner off the stove and set it on the kitchen table and turn your back. We once caught her with her head in a pot of hot taco soup, slurping away. Lucky for us, McDonald's is close. She also once batted a Krispie Kreme out of my hand and chomped it down. Who ever heard of a cat eating donuts? Anyway, Ernie has always had a bit of a prickly disposition, so it wouldn't surprise me one bit to learn that her hunger strike this weekend was designed to get me to back off.

Except I know it's not. I know that our time together is growing short, and I'm trying to be strong so I can do whatever I need to do to help Ernie. I truly appreciate the support and kindness of my blogger pals. This has been really, really hard and I'm very grateful to all of you.

Monday

2012-01-03T00:34:00.000-06:00

Either Ernie has been reading Taryterre's comments, or she's messin' with me. After two days of sleeping and not eating, she hopped off the sofa, waltzed up to my desk, and demanded some of my turkey sandwich. Of course I gave her a bit of breast meat, still warm from the oven. She snarfed it down and I gave her a bit more. In the end she ate at least an ounce of turkey breast and some of the broth I scooped from the pan. I always roast turkey in an inch of water so there's lots more of that, plus as much of the meat as she wants. I can always make more. I'm glad she seems to be feeling better, cause I have to go back to work tomorrow and I was stressing leaving her alone for that long.

Since I haven't really left the house since I got home from work on Saturday morning, I've been working on some projects that are long overdue, like laundering curtains and cleaning light fixtures. I also signed up for Spark People, so I can get a jump on my weight loss and fitness goals. I tried Spark People a long time ago and didn't get much out of it. Can't remember much about the experience except I know I was frustrated trying to find info on the website. Haven't had that at all this time around. I love that I can put in my goals for the week and it comes up with a meal plan, which I can tweak for our personal tastes. Then I change it to two servings, cause Walker needs to eat, too, and it gives me a grocery list. How awesome is that? I still have many areas of the site to explore, but right now I'm very encouraged. Spark People is free, so if losing weight or getting fit is one of your goals, give them a look and see if they have tools to help you, too.

More of the Same

2012-01-02T14:31:00.001-06:00

Ernie's hanging in there, and so are we. Walker and I stayed up with her all night, which we realized in hindsight was pretty dumb, because we both crashed around the same time. Today we're going to sleep in shifts. I don't want her to be alone, in case she wants comfort at some point. Right now she seems to want to be left alone. Still not eating, still not talking.

The Vigil

2012-01-01T18:32:00.000-06:00

Ernie isn't eating. I made her a plate of freshly roasted chicken, shredded up into tiny pieces, just like she likes it. I put it right in front of her, and she didn't even give it a sniff. She ate a little bit yesterday, but so far, today, not a bite. She hasn't made a peep, either. Normally she's pretty vocal, letting us know when she wants her rice bag heated up or when she wants to be picked up and petted. She's spent most of the day curled on her blankie, sleeping. She gets up to visit her box, then she gets a drink of water, and back to sleep. We are trying to keep an eye on her without bothering her. Sometimes it's hard to tell if she's still breathing. If this is her time to go, I hope she just goes, gently, in the middle of her nap. My daddy died that way, and so did both of his parents. I'm praying that we don't have to take her in to the vet again. She hates every single second of that, right from the minute we bring her crate out. She knows what that crate means and she gets agitated as soon as she sees it. I hope we don't have to do that to her again.

Ten Minutes to Midnight ~

2011-12-31T23:50:00.000-06:00

Looks like I'm on my own for New Year's kisses. Wonder what the neighbors are up to........

Better Now

2011-12-30T04:31:00.000-06:00

First of all, thank you, my friends, for all your advice and support. Hard to believe something as simple as a headache can make you feel so miserable. I don't often get sick. I guess I'm not very good at it, LOL. I still have some residual head-achey-ness, but I would call it a two or a three, rather than the seven or eight of the last couple days. The pounding has stopped. I'm pretty confident that a good night's sleep will wipe out the rest of it.

Ernie seems to be doing better, too. I made her a scrambled egg and she snarfed it down, so I waited a bit and made her another one. She eats a bit, naps a bit, eats a bit more. She doesn't seem to mind her eggs getting cold. She's been more active today than the last couple days.

We're due for more freezing rain, which is doubly scary considering all the ~~fools~~ folks on the road for New Year's Eve. Walker and I are mostly staying home. We're making Miss Diva some fondue, since she didn't get to try it during our Holidazzle weekend earlier this month. Then I think we're taking her to the early fireworks show, then, who knows? What I know for sure is that we won't be club hopping. Those days, thankfully, are behind us. Oh, it was fun at the time, but I'm not 21 anymore and no longer see the appeal of standing around an overcrowded bar, waiting twenty minutes for a drink and thirty minutes for the restroom, holding my coat the whole night because there is no place to put it down. I think we may put a movie in the DVD player and snuggle in for the evening.

Tonight is our last processing day for the year at the office, so we have mandatory overtime. I have to work at least 13 hours. With a little luck the rain will hold off until after I finish my shift on Saturday morning. If I don't get a chance to check in before we ring in the new year, I hope you all have a safe, happy New Year's Eve and wish each and every one of you many blessings for the new year. Happy 2012!

Argh!

2011-12-29T05:21:00.000-06:00

So my headache was still hanging around when I got ready for work yesterday. It was better, but not gone, and I was pretty sure it would get worse after a couple hours spent staring at the dual screens on my work PC. So when Walker dug out a bottle of Advil Migraine, I figured it was worth a shot, even though I didn’t have a true migraine. Extra Strength Excedrin hadn’t help edat all, and Aleve didn’t help much. My prescription ibuprofen would put me to sleep. I was out of options. I did read the full label, just to make sure there were no warnings about causing drowsiness or not to drive. Nothing like that, so I decided to go for it. The adult dosage was two capsules with a full glass of water, so that’s what I took.

Big mistake. Huge.

My headache did fuzz out pretty quickly, but so did the rest of me. Within the hour I started feeling all cottony, like I’d had a couple of glasses of wine. Which I hadn’t, of course. By this point it was too late to call in sick to the office. It was also too late to catch a nap, which I really, really needed at that point. I had less than an hour until I had to leave for work. What to do? Bring on the caffeine.

Yeah, I know, bad plan.

Honestly, I probably should have stayed home. If Walker or one of my friends was in the shape I was in, I would have advised them to stay put. Why do I push myself harder? Probably because, miserable as I felt, I knew I could do it. I could get myself to the office, do my job, and get myself home. And that’s just what I did. It was a long, painful, drowsy night, but I powered through it.

I drove home - carefully - through freezing rain and was very grateful to park in my driveway, safe & sound. Tomorrow is another day, right? Hopefully when I wake up this dang headache will be gone.

Can I Go Back to Bed, Please?

2011-12-28T15:56:00.000-06:00

I have a headache. A bad one. So bad, I left work an hour early last night. I came home, gave Ernie her medications, took a pain med myself, and went to bed. I didn't even brush my teeth. I slept twelve hours, but the headache is still here. It's not as bad as it was last night. I have some prescription ibuprofen, but I can't take it before I go to work because it knocks me out. Which is likely why I slept twelve hours. The dose I took was one pill, but I'm supposed to take two. This is why I hate to take medication - it hits me hard. Usually, I prefer to power through the pain, as I know that eventually it will pass. I took nothing after I had my appendix out, nothing stronger than ibuprofen after my hysterectomy, and nothing at all after the breast cancer surgery. I was okay, able to sleep and move around without too much discomfort. Yet a headache does me in. Go figure.

Miss Ernie is having a bad day, too. She seems to be losing her strength. She tries to jump from sofa to chair and misses, landing hard on the floor. She still manages to go from floor to furniture. Her appetite is good, and I feed her as much as she wants to eat. Her cancer has her metabolism working overtime. When I hold her, I can feel her heart racing. The vet says there is nothing to be done about that. It's just the progression of the disease. Her hip bones jut out, and it's harder to find loose skin when I do her injections every night. There isn't an ounce of fat left on her. I pray she is not in pain. She's feisty, still, and she literally runs when I prepare her food. So, we wait. It's hard.

Looking Forward

2011-12-26T04:42:00.000-06:00

Seems like it takes forever for Christmas to arrive, then it's over in a flash. I love when Christmas Day is on a Sunday, since that means I actually get a good day off. When Christmas falls in the middle of the week, I work Christmas Eve and don't get home until after 3am on the 25th. I get just a couple hours of sleep before I either have to get up and make dinner or get up and pack up to head to someone's house. This year, since Christmas Eve was on Saturday, I was able to go to Walker's family gathering, spend some quality time with Diva, get to bed at a normal time, get up with Diva to experience Christmas morning through her eyes, and head to Bro's new place at noon with food and gifts all prepared. It was a wonderful holiday. On Christmas night, Walker had to work so I took advantage of the empty house to get some chores done. But I also spend some time buried in my latest book, watched some old Christmas shows on TV, and visited with some friends online. And? I have Monday off, too.

I can't help but look back over the year, revisit my goal list, and look ahead to 2012. I accomplished most of my goals for 2011, except the whole "improve my diet and get more exercise" bit. The financials? Check! The relationships? Check! Two out of three ain't bad. I did well with the other areas of the "health" category, too. I am all caught up on my medical and dental checkups, I'm faithfully taking my meds, I've gotten my cholesterol down. All that's left is to lose some weight and figure out a way to get exercise into my crazy schedule.

My employer has partnered with Weight Watchers and will be offering any and all employees free Weight Watchers programs starting in February. I will be first in line to sign up. I think I could use the boost that I would get from having to stand in front of a room full of people and....well, I guess I don't know exactly what I'd have to do. Weigh in? Fess up to eating cookies for breakfast? I don't know but I guess I will be finding out. I wish I could start now. I'm feeling pretty motivated. I'm not sure if I'll have any other goals when 2012 rolls around, but I'm sure I'll be thinking on it for the next few days. I'm big on setting goals. I'll let ya know.

An Unexpected Gift

2011-12-25T01:19:00.000-06:00

Today I got the best Christmas gift I could ever imagine. I have my Diva, sleeping in her bed while I play Santa. In all our years together, I've never had Diva, or any other child, in my home on Christmas morning. I never thought I would, honestly. Diva and Squeak are the babies of the family, and I really thought this year would be the year they decided to stop believing in Santa. I got a little teary last year after the holidays, thinking that the little ones had just breezed through the last year of Christmas magic. Thankfully, I was wrong.

Now: listen to this and tell me there is no such thing as fate. Last week I went to the eye doctor, and on Monday Walker and I went to the mall. We had some last minute Christmas shopping, we needed new cell phones, and I wanted to get new eye glasses. Only I forgot my prescription. The tech at the eye place tried to call my doctor, but sat on hold so long that by the time someone came on the line, the doctor had gone home. I had no choice but to go back to the mall later in the week.

I was less than thrilled. Who wants to go to the mall during the last week before Christmas? And now I have to go back? But I had money coming from my insurance that had to be used before the end of the year so I sucked it up and we went back on Thursday. As we went down the mall I noticed that several stores were having last minute sales. Good sales. At good stores. Of course we looked around. And of course I found a few things I knew Diva would love. Despite the fact that I already had her gift at home, we bought her a couple things. I hid them in the house with no particular plan of when to give them to her.

After the mall, I had an hour to wait before I could go to work. I decided to head to Target, just to kill some time. I mean, it would take 20 minutes to get home, and another 20 to get back to the office, but Target was five minutes away. No harm cruising around there, right? Surprisingly, the store wasn't busy. Not surprisingly, I found a few more little things for Diva. A small box of chocolates, a small bottle of fragrance popular with girls her age, some fancy Christmas socks....Of course, I purchased those things, too.

So on Christmas Eve morning, when Diva called asking if she could stay over, I said a little prayer of thanks. If I hadn't had to go back to the mall that second time, I wouldn't have been there for the sales, and I wouldn't have a Santa gift for Diva. If I hadn't had to kill an hour at Target, I'd have nothing for her stocking. Last spring, when our basement flooded again and again, I lost all my wrapping supplies. Around Thanksgiving I bought one roll of paper and no bows, cause I always pick those up after Christmas at 70% off. Except earlier on Christmas Eve I went down into the basement and found one roll of old paper that survived the water damage because it never got put away. I managed to find one bow, too. So Santa's gifts are wrapped in different paper than mine. Funny how things work out......

And then, for the first time, I got to help my little one put together a plate of treats for Santa. We watched the NORAD Santa tracker for a while, seeing him zip over Africa and Europe and South America before hitting the States. I got to tuck a very excited little girl into bed with all her favorite stuffed animals. And I got to stuff a stocking and write a letter signed, "Santa". It does not get better than this.

Merry Christmas to all my blogger friends. I hope you are feeling as blessed by this season as I am right now.

I Have a Feeling He Won't Stop With One

2011-12-24T06:20:00.000-06:00

The lovely Maggie had an animated Christmas card on her page, and when I showed it to Walker, well, the rest of the evening was pretty much shot because he wanted to make one of our own, but he had to try out all the options before settling on this one. Click the link to see a couple old fools dance and sing their hearts out for you. Merry Christmas!

A Christmas Greeting for My Blogger Pals