Solstice

It occurred to me a couple days ago that here we are, mid June, and I have yet to take a morning bike ride.  Or an any-time-of-day bike ride, for that matter.  The morning ones just happen to be my favorite, when I unwind from a long night at work and the rest of the world has yet to wake. So, even though my bike was buried in the back of the garage behind all the still-set-up tables from our neighborhood garage sales, I managed to wrestle it out and go riding just before sunrise after the shortest night of the year.

A couple of years ago my mom and I were privileged to be in Alaska during Summer Solstice. We didn't partake in any festivities, but I was completely enchanted by the idea of celebrating the solstice.  I had not, to that point, heard of that custom.  I love the idea of it.  I hope to be there again someday, and I intend to be prepared to celebrate fully.

This year, however, I was content to ride the paved trails near my home watching the sun come up.  I've been spending a lot of time inside my own head, so to speak, and I think the ride did me good. Blew out the cobwebs, as they say.  I'm not sure why I've gotten so introspective.  Watching Bro navigate his divorce is part of it, I think.  Seeing my mom getting older, and all that entails.  Standing by, healthy, my cancer in the rear view mirror while our wonderful Aunt Dee enters year number four of her own unending battle with breast cancer, no end in sight.  The kids are getting older, too, and as they make strides toward their own independence, I can't help but wonder where the babies went, and where we go from here.

I didn't come home with any profound answers, but I did come home feeling more relaxed than I have in a long, long time.  One thing is clear:  I need to just let be.  Stressing and worrying is not going to solve anything.  It's not even going to help.  I have to just let go of it all.  Whatever is supposed to happen will happen.  In the meantime, I see a lot more morning rides in my future.