White Coat Fever

I went to the dentist yesterday.  I enjoy going to the dentist, for the most part.  Everyone there is so nice - not a crab apple in the bunch.  The hygienist has a daughter with thyroid issues, so we always talk about that.  Good timing, since my annual thyroid check is next week.  The hygienist always tells me about websites and such with current information on them.  We talk about other stuff too, like what's in the news and what we've been up to.  Then the dentist comes in, and he's smart and funny and he always finds something nice to say to me.  The time just flies by.  It helps that I have pretty good teeth - they don't have to do too much to get me out the door again.  

And yet, the morning of my appointment you'd think I was going to face a firing squad.  I get so. Freakin'. Nervous.  Sweaty palms, shaking hands, stomach cramps, the whole bit.  I wasn't always that way, though I don't remember exactly when it started. It's like that whenever I have something even vaguely medical:  the dentist, the eye doctor, lab appointments, everything.  Once I get there, actually in the treatment room, I'm pretty much fine.  Go figure.

I used to joke with Walker that I could never have a serious illness.  I wouldn't make it through daily appointments without having a nervous breakdown.  So you'd think that since I did make it through, and I didn't lose my marbles, the anxiety would be gone, but I actually think it's worse.  I bought myself an IPod, thinking that music would help.  I haven't taken time to load it up yet.  In the end, I just tell myself to suck it up and I get through it.  I'm hoping that it will fade out pretty much like it came in.  Guess time will tell.