An Anniversary

Two years ago today, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Stage one, grade one ductal carcinoma in situ, to be exact.  A few days later I was upgraded to stage one, grade two.  That's not good news.  In the end, it didn't matter:  I totally kicked it's ass.  I was officially cancer free before the end of 2010.

Going through all that, I was pretty focused on the fight.  I didn't cry, I didn't think about the "what if's".  I did my research, followed the doctors' instructions, and did my best to take care of myself.  People tell you how brave you are, but here's the thing:  you have little choice.  You fight or you die, period.  Bravery has very little to do with it. Besides, the clinic staff had the hard part.  They had to save my life.  All I had to do was show up on time.

Looking back on everything that happened, it's hard not to get emotional.  One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was tell my mom I had cancer.  Nobody wants to cause their mother that kind of pain and worry.  I hope I never have to say those words again. 

Last week, I took myself shopping and bought myself a gift: a pretty pink sapphire set with tiny diamonds on a silver band.  I wear it to remind myself that life is precious, and not to take a moment for granted.  

Can You Hear the Creaking? That's Just Me ~

Peeps, I am too dang old to be doing this kind of work.  On Sunday, instead of taking Miss Diva swimming, Walker and I finished taking down all the paneled walls.  We removed all the nails and hauled the paneling outside.  Then Walker removed the nails from the trim, sanded each piece, and filled the nail holes with putty.  When the putty dried he sanded them again, then he brought all the trim pieces down to the basement for me to prime and paint. 


Meanwhile, Bro and the boys stopped by to pick up the weight bench and weights that we've been storing for them, also in the basement.  I helped them bring up the weights and bars.  Then I moved all the furniture to one side of the basement and cleaned the floor.  While the floor was drying, I took up each of the carpet tiles from the living room and brought them down to the basement.  While Walker slept, I laid the carpet squares in his man-cave downstairs.  Honestly, I would have loved nothing more than to haul that icky carpet out to the curb, but we have cement floors with peeling paint down there right now, so even icky carpet is an improvement. 

Walker's man cave in the basement, after I moved the carpet squares.  We took the far wall down after one of the many floods two years ago ~ Walker wants more drywall but I think that will be money down the drain, as we flood on a regular basis.  We're in negotiations.  =)

Walker had to go to work Sunday night, so I had the house to myself while I primed and painted all that trim.  While the first coat dried, I moved all the furniture back:  sofa, loveseat, china hutch, end tables, entertainment center, TV, dining table, four chairs, and four bar stools.  Did you know that if you put cardboard under the legs, even the heaviest furniture slides over carpet like sled runners on snow?  Walker didn't.  He still doesn't believe I moved all that furniture myself.  I am woman, hear me roar!  Yeah, right.  My legs are bruised and every muscle in my body hurts.  I know I will pay for this tomorrow ~

Two - thirds done ~ well, with the first coat, anyway!

Adjusting

I was going to write a real post about our vacation, but that's going to have to wait. I'm struggling to get myself back to my normal schedule of working at night and sleeping during the day. It isn't working very well. I'm sleeping in bits and frankly, I'm wiped out. Hopefully, I'll be back on track after the weekend. In the meantime, I thought I'd post a couple photos of our adventures but Blogger isn't cooperating. All I could get to upload was this shot of Walker on our first day. I'm going to take a nap now.....

Happy Birthday, Ben!

So hard for me to believe that this teeny baby

grew into an adorable toddler

then became a little boy who described himself as "bunctious!"

and loved to play and play

but mostly loved his family

is no longer a little boy. 

Happy 18th birthday, Ben!  

Now, this post should end with a photo of grown-up Ben, but, being a moody teenager, he has neglected to distribute his senior photos to his relatives.  Even Gramma has been left hanging.  And, since he's been MIA from the last several family events, I have no recent photos of my handsome young nephew. So I asked Diva to help me out.  She was happy to oblige. 

Date Night!

Working the dopey hours that I have had for the last several years, our social life has suffered.  Walker works nights, too, but he has the ability to sleep pretty much anytime he goes to bed.  My body doesn't work like that.  I get into a routine and that's it.  If I do go to bed early, I usually sleep for two or three hours before my body says, "Hey, thanks for the nap!" and I'm up for the duration.  Not that I get to bed early all that often.  So what happens on days off is, I'm sleeping all afternoon.  When I get up I don't like to jump out of bed and rush off to a restaurant or a movie.  Like most people I know, I like a leisurely Saturday morning.  Mine just comes much later in the day.
 
Well, that's just not going to fly anymore.  Walker and I need time for fun, and unless I kick us both in the behind, we aren't going to get it.  So this morning, I set my alarm for noon (yeah, I know how that sounds but I go to bed between six and seven) and started my day early.  When Walker and Diva heard where I wanted to go, they decided to get all the weekend house cleaning done, so I'd have no reason to change my mind.  Double score!!  I got my leisurely Saturday and when the troops decided they were hungry, I hustled us off to Texas Roadhouse.  Check out these happy people ~

So, yeah, I'm kind of tired right about now, but it's a good tired.  We all had a great time, the food was really good, and the best part was how excited the kid and the hubby were.  It was well worth it.

I Love Spring !

There's nothing like sunshine and warm breezes to turn an ordinary Wednesday into a celebration.  Best of all?  When the weather turns nice, Walker fires up the grill.  I'm off kitchen duty for the duration.  Sweet!

Mmmmm, grilled cheeseburgers!

The crab apple tree is about to burst into bloom ~ I love how the air smells right now.

Grilling is serious business.  Walker doesn't want to pause for a photo op ~

At Long Last.....

I brought my camera along to Squeak’s birthday party last weekend so I could get some photos of the boys’ bedrooms.  Well, I actually brought the camera to capture all the fun of Squeak’s big day, but while I was there….you get the point.  

First up is Cubby’s Minnesota Vikings room.  Note the curtains, sewn with love by my mom.  She also made a pillow sham from the same fabric, but it's tucked under the comforter so you can't see it in the photos.  I had lots of fun hunting down the decorative plaques, but it was a bit harder to find posters of his favorite players at reasonable prices.  NFL stuff is so expensive!  Cubby’s worth it, and I think he really liked the finished product.

 

Squeak’s room is the coolest kid room I have ever hung out in, and I have hung out in plenty as I was an inveterate babysitter during my high school years.   His wallpaper border has jungle animals in the squares. Note his curtains, too; they have a vibrant tiger print.  Gramma loved this fabric and was not put off by the fact that it was fleece.  So this kid has what are probably the only fleece curtains in the tri-state area.   My mom swears they will keep his room warmer.    My mom also added the tiger print fabric to Squeak’s comforter, and made the matching pillow:

 

I also got the boys cool light switch plates, but of course I forgot to get photos.  Cubby’s is stained glass, Vikings theme, of course.  Squeak’s is plastic but it has three animal prints: leopard, zebra, and giraffe. 

 

Bro shares custody of his boys with their mom, so a couple days a week he was coming home to an empty house.  Well, not any more.  I found this little girl hiding in a closet in the extra bedroom.  Her name is Tristan.  She came out of the closet when I found her, but after I petted her for awhile the kids found us, and Tristan relocated under the family room sofa:

Tristan has a brother, and Bro didn’t want to split them up, so he brought them both home.  Unfortunately, Bruno is very shy and didn’t want to meet his new favorite auntie (that would be me) but I did find him hiding in his favorite spot behind the toilet paper in Bro’s bathroom closet.  He didn’t seem to mind getting his picture taken, as long as I didn’t move the TP.  

So that was last weekend.  This week, Walker finally finished his work at his mom's old house - wahoo! - and he's taking a week off before he starts helping at the new house.  The new house is new construction, so it needs things like curtain rods hung and shower doors installed.   Nothing urgent, though, and Walker needs to catch up on some sleep.  I got our airline tickets purchased for our upcoming vacation - wahoo! - but to get them using frequent flier miles we had to change our trip dates, which involved changing the timeshare, changing our vacation dates at work, and changing dinner reservations.  Took longer than it should have because we're still having internet issues.  I hope to tackle those this weekend.  Slowly but surely, we're getting it all done ~

Just a Quick Update

All was well at my oncology appointment.  I do not have to see the oncologist again  for six whole months.  Wahoo!  Of course, I still have to have a mammo in April and see the breast specialist at that time, too, but hey, we're making progress. 

It's just about the one year mark from when I finished radiation.  The oncologist says it takes at least a year for the tissue to heal and to get your energy back.   So I should be pretty much "as good as it gets" with all this.  My treatment area is as healed as it will ever be, so the dark patches on my skin are permanent now.  Small price to pay.  I'm using a skin cream with hydroquinone to lighten the radiation tattoos.  If I could remember to use it every day it they would probably be almost gone by now.

Miss Ernie has been tolerating her eye drops pretty well.  She's lost more weight, though.  She is just fur and bones now.  It breaks my heart, but she's very strong and very feisty so what do you do?  When she stops bossing everyone around we'll know it's time to say good-bye.

Walker thanks y'all for his birthday wishes.  We had a nice dinner together, just the two of us, before we went to work Thursday night.  I wanted to tell the server that it was Walker's birthday but he didn't want me to.  He doesn't like when they all gather around and sing. I wanted to do it anyway.  I'll never take birthdays for granted again.

Happy Birthday to......

Walker J!  My handsome honey is 47 years young today.  I'm getting him a picture of my boobs.  Okay, not really.  We're spending the afternoon at the cancer center where I will have a series of chest x-rays done.  I could probably have them run off a 5x7 for Walker - those folks are very accommodating.

After my photo session I have a visit with the oncologist, then I'm taking Walker out to eat at a local steak house before I head to the office and Walker goes home to catch a nap before he goes to work.  We really know how to live it up, don't we?

Walker with Flat Stanley

Fondue for Two

Friday afternoon, Walker and I packed up and hit the road.  Our destination?  Downtown Minneapolis, baby!

My love affair with downtown Minneapolis started many years ago, when I took my first-ever business "trip" alone to the Federal Reserve District Nine offices for a training seminar.  I drove myself in my Olds 98, a huge boat of a car that rode so smooth it felt like you were driving a living room.  I felt very grown up in my navy blue "power suit" and high heels.  I don't know how I did it, but I found my way to downtown so easily that I had two hours to kill before my seminar, so I wandered Nicollet Mall.

I remember going into what was then the Dayton's flagship store (it's now Macy's) to buy a headband, after my big 80's hair went flat on my drive up.  I also remember the prices in Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman-Marcus.  I took a photo of myself in a photo booth somewhere along the Mall.  I bought little gifts for the two  guys I was dating (yep, two, but I was young and they both knew I was seeing "other people"), and I remember changing into jeans and a thick sweatshirt in my car after the seminar.  Probably would not do that now.  I had to drive back the same day, but what a fabulous time I had wandering downtown before, and after, my training.

The thing that fascinates me about downtown is, when you look at most of the buildings from the street they look like ordinary office buildings.  But step inside!  There are little cities behind those facades.  In one building you can shop, eat, work, party, and make your way home to an apartment upstairs.  You just have no idea what you'll find when you enter one of those buildings.  To a small town girl like me, it's just this side of magic.  And the buildings have names!  How cool is that, LOL?

So nearly every year, around Christmas, we head to Minneapolis and spend a few days downtown.  We missed one year a couple years back due to snowstorms, and last year we had to skip because I was still taking radiation therapy every day.  Naturally, missing last year made this year just that much more special.  Since I plan all these trips, I decided that this year we'd try some things that neither of us had done before.  Enter the Melting Pot.

I've had fondue before, but this was a first experience at a fondue restaurant for both Walker and me.  We opted not to take the "full meal experience", since you have to allow three hours to dine for that.  Instead, we had the "cheese and chocolate" option.  The tables are inset with glass burners, like a small stove top, and  the server makes the fondue right there, right at the table, in a cook pot on the burner.  Our server heated some sherry, added scallions, stirred in shredded cheese, and finished off with some chopped green onions and bleu cheese crumbles.  She gave us long handed dipping forks, a big bowl of bread cubes, a smaller bowl of cut up veggies, and a small bowl of cubed Granny Smith apples.  Five minutes later:

Walker is very dedicated when it comes to eating cheese.  Another server stopped by just after this photo to take our empty pot away, but Walker informed her that there was still a lot of good cheese to be had.  Um, okay, honey, if you say so, LOL.  And then it was time for chocolate.

They actually light the chocolate sauce on fire.  See the blue in the pot?

Dang good stuff!  We dipped strawberries, banana slices,marshmallows, rice crispie treats, and cheesecake. 

Walker was one happy boy!

Happy Birthday, Diva

Our rain has turned to snow, just like the weatherman said it would.  Why did he pick today for the one day a year he's right?  Just kidding.  Sort of.

Diva's birthday party was so much fun, but half the girls we invited did not show up.  Now, why?  Why would you blow off a kid's birthday party after telling her you would be there?  I imagine one or maybe two could be sick, but four out of seven?  With no phone call?  The unfortunate part is we held the party at a local skating rink, and we had to pay for a minimum of eight kids.  Two of the kids' parents came with little siblings in tow, and had we known those four kids weren't going to show we could have substituted the little ones.  Instead, the parents paid for the little ones to skate. Diva's big sister showed up and wanted to skate, so we were able to accommodate her.  Still, we had three unused wrist bands to turn in at the end of the party.  Sigh.

 

The kids all had a good time, though.  Walker strapped on some roller blades and hit the rink with the kids.  I wanted to skate, too, but when my mom booked the party she put me down as the host, so I had to run the show.  I still want to go skating.  Maybe Walker will take me some weekend.

Diva, as the birthday girl, got to spend a minute in the cash cage.  It's like one of those money machines you see on TV except they use "point certificates" instead of actual cash.  Diva grabbed at everything that whirled past her, and in the end she got 65 points, worth.....a small pile of candy and junk.  She was thrilled.

The skating rink provided pizza, popcorn, soda, and slushies.  We also dined on cotton candy - pink AND blue, thank you very much! - and cup cakes.  The kids should be coming down from their sugar high sometime later today.  I expect there will be a few crabby attitudes as the sugar crashes come on.

Diva got some nice gifts.  I gave her an ITunes gift card.  I taped it to the inside of the lid of an empty box.  I figured Diva would look in the box and think it was empty and get all confused.  Not this kid.  She took the lid off and flipped it over on to the table, revealing the gift card just that quick.  Joke number one was a bust.  Along with her gift card we gave her my IPod Shuffle, which I bought myself during cancer treatment but never took out of the box.  The kid was hoping for an IPod, so it was win - win.  She got her wish and I got rid of a bit of clutter from my desk. But you know, I can't just hand her the IPod. No fun in that. So I took another box, the same size, and put the IPod in the bottom.  I covered the whole thing with Hershey kisses.  I figured she'd think she got a box of chocolate for her gift.  Not this kid.  She said, "Nobody would give me this much chocolate!" and she started digging.  It took about a second and a half for her to find the IPod. Joke number two was a bust, too.  It's official.  I am not smarter than a fifth grader.  Or even a fourth grader.  Sigh.

A Very Generous Gift

So Bro and Walker went shopping the other day.  Walker is the kind of guy who takes everything at face value, so when Bro asked him to tag along to Walmart "for company", Walker didn't think anything of it.  When they headed to the electronics department, Walker didn't think anything of that, either.  Bro is setting up his new house this week and he's bound to need some things.  When Bro started making conversation about the problems I've been having with the second hand PC I use for my work-from-home job, Walker took it as friendly conversation.  And when Bro loaded a brand new PC into the cart, Walker just thought Bro was buying his kids a new computer.

Walker was mistaken.

My brother brought the computer home and gave it to me, so I could get through my work faster.  He chose one with advanced graphics, so I can play around with editing my photos.  I have never owned a brand-new-out-of-the-box computer before.  I was touched beyond words. I think Christmas came early this year.

The Next Chapter

The snow came, right on schedule.  It was wet and heavy and sloppy.  It’s mostly gone now, but it left behind a great sense of urgency to get Bro settled into his new home before the real weather sets in.  It’s a waiting game, home buying.  He’s hoping for a closing by the end of next week.

I’m happy for him, and excited for him.  It will be nice to get my old routine back, too.  But I will miss Bro and the kids, as they will all be living two towns over and when school is in session, I won’t see much of them.  I’d be lying if I said I had no worries.  If you’re new here, the story of how Bro came to live with Walker and me was pretty painful.  The short version is, Bro had a tough time accepting that his marriage was ending.  We tried to offer up a soft place to land while he got things worked out.  He’s done very well, I think, but I also think that coming home nearly every night to an empty house will be very hard for him after so many years.  I don’t think he’s lived alone since just after college, about twenty years ago.

I know I need to have faith that if he starts to lose his way, he’ll yell for help.  Faith has not been my strong suit, but I’m working on it.  I trust my brother.  He’s worked very hard to deal with his demons.  It’s time for the next step.

Mall of America, Part 2

Friday morning we had breakfast at the hotel, let Diva splash around in the pool, and were ready and waiting when the Mall opened at 10a.m.  We were planning to meet my Aunt Nade, my late daddy's sister, at the Mall at some point during the day, so I told Walker and Diva if they wanted to go on some rides they should do that right away.  I didn't know what time Nade would be joining us but I didn't think she'd enjoy hanging out in Nickelodeon Universe while Walker and Diva went on nausea inducing amusement park rides.  I didn't have to tell them twice ~ they took off for the park like their butts were on fire and spent the next hour happily making themselves dizzy on rides like the Brain Surge, which spun them upside down while also spinning them in a circle, the Log Chute, which floated them around a serene log camp scene before dropping them, in their log boat, forty feet down into a "splash pond", the Splat-O-Sphere, which lifts them 60 feet into the air on a dangling cage before dropping them back down, and all three of the Mall of America roller coasters.

Before the big plunge on the Log Chute

This thing spins upside down and backwards while it revolved around a center pole.  Yikes!

One of the reasons I like to do this trip on Diva's school break is that the Minneapolis schools are always in session.  In other words, she was the only kid her age at the park that morning.  There were lots of little kids on the little kid rides, but Walker and Diva were able to avoid waiting in line the whole time they played at the amusement park.

After the rides, Diva, who apparently has a cast iron stomach, decided she was hungry.  So off we went to the food court for lunch.  My mom had a banana split - just a banana split - declaring it was a fine lunch, with her fruit and dairy requirements met.  Um, okay, Mom, LOL.  She sure didn't use that reasoning when I was growing up.  Diva was disappointed to see that the kid spa was gone, but we found a nail salon that had an immediate opening and she treated herself to her very first manicure.  I love the little daisies.

Aunt Nade showed up about that time, so we zipped over to her parking area to pick her up.  I just love Nade, and we don't get to see her often enough.  She's been having mobility issues, and my mom has mobility issues, so they were content to sit together, chatting away, at various locations around the Mall while Diva, Walker, and I shopped for shoes, hunted down bargains on cold weather clothes, chose gifts for the family at home, and played with the cosmetics at Sephora.

Lego sculpture at Lego Land

Diva told me that she wasn't allowed to go on one of the attractions in the amusement park because she was wearing a skort (like a skirt with shorts built in).  The attraction required her to be strapped into a harness and she had to have her legs covered.  So we found her some cute leggings at Old Navy, had her change in the store, and went back to Nickelodeon Universe where Walker and Diva climbed an obstacle course designed, I'm sure, to cause old aunties to have nervous breakdowns when they watch.  This kid climbed 56 feet into the air on tightropes, floating bridges, and I honestly don't know what else but everything swayed and there were no railings.  She was attached to a rope that was hooked to her harness but I can't imagine doing anything like that, let alone thinking it was fun.  At the top she had to walk out onto a plank and ring a bell, then she had to make her way back down through the same kinds of obstacles she conquered going up.

See my kid?  She's at the top of the center pole.  Really!

See? And yes, I pretty much held my breath until she got down, LOL.

My mom and Aunt Nade watched the climb with me, but I doubt they were as nervous as I was because my mom, God bless her, fell asleep. Of course I had to take a photo of that, too, but I think I'd be grounded for life if I posted it here.  So after Diva took twelve years off my life with her mega climb, we headed to Build-A-Bear where we - you guessed it! - built a couple teddy bears.  Well, actually, a bear and a kitty.

The first time I saw a Build-A-Bear, the un-stuffed teddies were hanging from a clothes line across the store, pinned up by their ears.  I remember being horrified at the sight of all the disemboweled bears.  I could not believe anyone would bring a child there. These days, they have shelves with samples of the bears all stuffed up; the un-stuffed ones are folded into a bin.  Much better.  Anyway: the bears were buy one, get one free, so Diva chose her bear and I picked out an orange kitty for myself.  We stuffed them, put in a little red fabric heart, and had them stitched up.  Diva gave them each a brushing and a bath (with an air hose) and it was off to the dressing room.  Diva's bear ended up with a pair of Chinese pajamas, and my kitty left the store decked out in a denim mini skirt and sparkly tee shirt.

Dinner was next on the agenda, so we wandered upstairs to a beach grill called Kokomo.  The food was great, the atmosphere was festive, and it was quiet enough that we could all have a nice visit. We had a really nice time.

That was pretty much it.  We walked Nade back to her car after dinner, then Walker and Diva went on a couple more rides.  Diva, who has been saving for this trip since July, still had more than half her money, so we stopped back at Sephora where she purchased some nail polish in a kitty shaped bottle.  We were pretty much wiped out when we got back to the hotel, but Diva and I went to the pool anyway.  I thought a little soak in one of the hot tubs would sooth my tired legs.  Unfortunately, there was a problem with the chemicals in the tub I chose.  Here's what gets me:  half a dozen adults watched me walk over to the hot tub, dip a toe in, then climb down the stairs and sink into the water.  A minute later, when my throat started burning and this weird chemical smell hit my nose I jumped out and that was when they told me that there had been a "do not use" sign on that hot tub.  I don't know what happened to the sign but honestly?  What did they hope to accomplish by waiting until after I got in to tell me?  One guy said he'd gotten in, too, before he was told.  Guess he was recycling the bad karma.  Nice. I could still smell that chemical smell on my skin after I showered.  If I suddenly sprout a third eye guess I know why.

There's a Place for Fun in Your Life......

Mall of America!

We're back, LOL.

We picked Diva up at school on Thursday, hit the road, and made excellent time to Minneapolis.  The scenery was absolutely stunning.  Our drive takes us through a bit of the Mississippi River Valley, with the river on one side and tall bluffs on the other.  The bluffs are covered in trees, all decked out in fall colors, and the river takes on a deep teal color this time of year.  Cover all that with a turquoise sky.  I would have LOVED to stop for a few photo ops, but there is nowhere to pull over, legally, along that part of the road.  It is very twisty and rolls up and down so it's really not safe to stop, even for a minute.  You just can't see what's coming.  The shoulder is narrow, too.  I tried to talk Walker into giving it a go out the car window but he doesn't know how to work my camera.  It looks a lot more intimidating than it is.  Anyway:  the drive was beautiful, and we arrived at the Mall before dark.

We had our planned dinner at Johnny Rocket's, then wandered around a bit until we arrived at the mini golf course on the third floor.  Walker and Diva played a round while my mom rested in a seating area that had tables and chairs set up.  I wandered a bit more, mentally planning our list of "must- see's".  On my way back to my mom, I found a little hidey hole that overlooked part of the mini golf course and I waited, paparazzi style, for Walker and Diva to arrive.  When they came around the corner I was ready with the camera set to "continuous shoot".  They were startled and stood there for a minute til they realized it was me, then Diva started hamming for the camera.

Walker's paparazzi shot

Diva didn't quite know what to do

She figured it out, though!

 We had rooms across the street from the Mall at Country Inn and Suites.  I have to say, I love this place.  Everyone who works there is friendly and helpful.  The beds are comfy, and I appreciate having a suite when we take Diva out of town.  It's nice to be able to put her to bed, shut the door, and talk or watch TV in another room.  We have a mini fridge and a microwave, and they have coffee and cookies in the lobby all the time. Country Inn has hot breakfast included in the stay, too, plus at this location there's a 24 hour IHOP attached to the hotel.  After we checked in we went swimming, then we got dressed again and went to IHOP for ice cream.  Well, the adults got dressed.  We let Diva go in her pj's. Hey, we were on vacation!

Meet the Family ~

It looks like some new friends have found my blog, so I thought I would take a few minutes and introduce the family, so to speak. 

Walker is my sweetie.  We’ve known each other for nearly thirty years, but we’ve been together as a couple for about eight.   I have two older sisters, an older brother, and a younger brother.  My younger brother moved in with Walker and me in February, when he and his wife decided to separate.  Their divorce became final this month.  Bro has two boys, Cubby and Squeak, who spend a couple nights a week here with us.  My older brother is also getting divorced this month.  He had two kids from his first marriage, a little girl, Diva, from his second marriage, and no kids from his third marriage.  He is currently engaged to Number Four.  She seems to be a sweet lady. 

 

Diva’s parents split up before she was born, and Diva spent a lot of time with me back then.  I had a normal day shift job at that time and my mom was a couple blocks away from me, so really, it was no problem to take care of her between my mom and me.  Diva was a good baby.   I lived in a tiny house with a tiny yard but we had everything we needed.  There was a little park with a playground and a wading pool a block away.  I’d put Baby Diva in her stroller and off we’d go.  I miss those days. 

Walker came back into my life when Diva was about eighteen months old.  She was not thrilled to have him around.  Lucky for me, that only lasted a couple months.  Once she decided he was a good guy, they became fast friends.  They have a standing Saturday morning breakfast date, just the two of them.   Due to some medical issues, Walker and I won’t be having kids of our own.  Diva is pretty much it for us.  We’re very lucky that her parents are so generous with her time, and that so far, Diva still likes hanging out with us.   I try to make the most of every day we spend together.

My oldest sister, Michelle, lives on the other side of Minnesota and we don’t get to see her very often.  She has two boys, too.  They’re older – 17 and 14.  I mostly communicate with them via Facebook, which is pretty much the only reason I do Facebook at all.  My other sister has puppies instead of kids.  We used to take care of them during the day until my cat, Ernie, starting having problems.  The older dog, Baizie, pretty much leaves Ernie alone but the younger one, Lily, thinks of Ernie as an interactive puppy toy.  Ernie wears herself out defending her turf.  Then Lily developed food allergies, so when she’s at our house we have to put Ernie’s food up out of her reach.  Which means it’s out of Ernie’s reach.  Not so good.  So now we run to my sister’s house and take the dogs out when my sister is working late.  I miss having “the girls” over every day.   I miss seeing my sister, too.

 

My mom lives in our neighborhood, on the next block.  She’s retired now, but she keeps pretty busy.   Some days I get out of bed to find her at my dining room table, putting together a jig saw puzzle.  Some days she’s at my computer, surfing the internet.  She likes to travel with us, but physically she sometimes has a hard time getting around.  She’s as independent as they come, though, and rarely asks for help around her house or her yard.  Walker goes over on snowy days, intending to blow out her driveway, only to find it done already.   She’s one tough chick.

My dad passed away over seven years ago.  He lived in New Mexico and we went years between visits.  I didn't think his passing would leave such a big hole in my life.  Walker's family lives in the area, too, and he has a pretty large network of extended family.  Every now and again we make noise about moving somewhere else, but I don't think we'll be going anywhere soon.  There are too many people counting on us.

Apparently, I Am No Longer Cool

The problem started when Cubby’s momma invited the family to Cubby’s cross country meet.  Cubby is in his first year of middle school, so of course when out in public he prefers to pretend he hatched from a pod and therefore has no pesky family members around to embarrass him.  We knew he’d prefer not to have a herd of us rellies standing on the tape line waving, snapping photos, and chanting his name.  We went anyway. 

I was not prepared for how little the kids looked lining up at the starting line.  To me, they may as well have been in kindergarten.  It was chilly out and the kids were in shorts.  I wanted to take them all home and feed them cocoa with marshmallows and warm chocolate chip cookies.    The race started, and just about that time the sky opened up.  By the time they rounded back to finish the first of two laps, they were soaked and red faced and miserable looking.  Oh, my heart just broke.  There’s a disabled kid on the team who runs with a guide.  How awesome is that?  And the volunteer guide?  What a great guy.  Uh oh, last straw – here come the weepies!

My Tamoxifen has been turning me into a giant pile of hormones lately.  I've been on the stuff since Christmas Eve, but according to my doctor, the side effects will come and go the whole time I'm on the medication.  I am not used to turning into a weepy puddle of mush at the drop of a hat and I've not yet figured out how to control these little bursts. 

Now I know Cubs would be mortified if anyone saw his auntie having a breakdown under the oak trees, so I did my best to distract myself from the sight of all these poor, soggy children running up the hill.  But then here came my Cubby.  I have to say, running is not his strongest skill at this point.  But I also have to say, that kid does not give up.  He was completely drenched, he looked like he was in pain, and clearly he was miserable, but he kept going and finished both laps.  And all while totally ignoring his parents, his brother, two aunts, a grandma, and an uncle cheering him on.  I have never been more proud.

 

I knew he was disappointed in his performance and I wanted to tell him how great I thought he was, but I knew I would never be able to vocalize those feelings without turning into a total basket case, which would probably send the kid straight to therapy.  Instead, I sent this email:

Hi Cubby ~

I just want to tell you how proud I am of you.  You know those races are hard and you run them anyway ~ lots of people would give up without even trying.  But not you. You gave it 100 percent.  That shows great strength of character.  You are growing into a fine young man.  I am very, very proud of you.

It backfired. 

Cubby now lives in fear that I will somehow – gasp! – hug him.  He walks sideways around the house so he can keep an eye on me at all times.  If I get within eight feet of him, he bolts.  So much for offering solace. Sigh. At least Squeak still thinks I'm awesome.

Rocks in the Road

I'm not sure when it started, but sometime over the summer Diva and I decided that on her first school break we were hitting the road.  Our destination?  The world famous Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota.  The mall is so big, and just far enough away, that when we go, we make a weekend of it.  We book a motel with a pool for Diva the Fish, and we just play.  Walker takes her on all the rides, we eat yummy cherry milkshakes at Johnny Rockets, we sample just about everything at Sephora, we adopt a new friend from Build-A-Bear, and we shop til we drop while a very patient Walker carries our bags to the car.  It's so much fun.

But of course, there are rocks in our road.  Diva is on the volleyball team at her school. That's not a problem, we worked our plans around her schedule.  Then the organizers changed the schedule.  So we changed our plans.  Then, because apparently I am spewing bad karma into the universe, they changed the schedule AGAIN!  She now has all her games and tournaments on Saturdays.  Which, you know, would be part of the weekend.  Sigh. So much for making a weekend of it.

Diva is in fourth grade.  Even if she shows incredible prowess on the volleyball court it's highly unlikely that she'll be awarded a college scholarship or anything.  Yet, she's part of a team, and I feel like we'd be sending the wrong message if we let her skip out of her game to play at the Mall. So, despite the continual schedule changes, we've revised our plans once again.  We'll be at the Mall on Friday, stay overnight in Bloomington, and get up before the sun to get that kid back to school before her Saturday morning game.  The things you do for your kids.  Or, you know, someone else's kids that you periodically borrow.  Sigh.

Reruns

I woke up Saturday morning to another violent storm. Seriously, I thought I was dreaming about the day before. This time, Walker was home, and he was up when the storm hit. Just as I woke up he came flying into the bedroom to shut the windows. Unfortunately, the curtains were already dripping wet. We had to take them down and run them through the washer. The second storm took a couple big branches from the locust tree in the front yard, but we didn't have it as bad as the neighbors. They had a pretty good sized maple tree that just snapped off. The whole tree. The trunk broke at the base. Take a walk around the block and just about every yard has a pile of branches at the curb. Sometimes, there are whole trees, cut up and waiting for the city to come by with the wood chipper.

Unfortunately, that's about as exciting as the weekend got. I did my cleaning and sorted out a couple closets. I ended up listing some clothing on eBay, and I sent some broken necklaces into a gold buyer. Diva and I make cookies, and I went to a couple of open houses with Bro. He's not quite ready to buy, but he's getting close. I was hoping he could be into his own place and have a routine established for his kids before school started, but that didn't happen. Still, it would be nice if he could be settled before winter.

Miss Ernie went on a hunger strike. I about went nuts trying to tempt her to eat something, anything. She's always had periods where she wasn't interested in food, but now she has absolutely no body fat. I freak out when she goes without eating. Bro took the boys fishing on Saturday, so Sunday they fried up a mess of perch. Ernie was treated to some fresh fish, which she more or less inhaled. She's eaten like a little piggy since then. Hope the boys will keep fishing.