In a Funk

It's been a long week. I've been in a funky blue mood for pretty much the whole time, and I can't seem to shake it. It started last Sunday when my mom called about a car she thought I might be interested in. I do need to think about replacing my car, but I was hoping to wait until next spring. This is supposed to be the year of fiscal reform in our house, after all. But Mom found a great deal on a great car. Walker is all for it. So the decision is up to me. Thanks, Walker. So much for teamwork. I told him, I feel like I'm in a canoe paddling down the river. If I make the wrong move - flip! - over I go. But in the meantime, Walker is standing on the shore, waving. He just does not worry about anything, especially money. It was just a year ago that I was told my job was going away (that didn't happen, but it was a tense couple of months). It was six months ago that I was diagnosed with cancer, facing another round of medical bills and months off from work. How can I not worry about money?

While I was pondering diving into the deep end of the debt pool, things at the office slid downhill. Policies and procedures are changing, we're short about half our staff, and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. The funk continued.

Next week I have my first follow up mammogram since completing treatment. I am not even going to pretend that I'm not losing sleep. I will be so very glad when it's behind me, and I finally get that elusive "all-clear".

Today, I was supposed to go to Squeak's soccer game, take the car in question for a test drive, then go out to lunch with Walker. When I got up, however, I found a nasty surprise: snow. Yep, snow, in April. Snow covering my tulips. Stupid snow. And it was still coming down. Sideways. You know, cause the snow wasn't enough so the weather gods added wind. Cold, damp wind. Soccer game? Canceled. Test drive? Canceled. Wanna guess what we did instead? Today was the day my brother and sister-in-law had designated to divide up their stuff and move my brother's things out of his old house. Yep, that's what we did.

There's not a lot I can say about it. It was tense. My heart broke watching the two of them divide the last twenty years into "His" and "Hers". I cannot imagine how they felt. The kids pretty much stayed out of sight. It was a difficult day, to say the least. I do not know what happens now.

When I got home I faced a long list of chores that still needed to be done. I don't have it in me. I did some dishes and started laundry, but I'm so dang tired and I still feel chilled from hours in the damp wind, loading and unloading boxes and furniture. I ate a package of PopTarts meant for the kids, and now, here I sit. I think I need to toss in the towel, go to bed, and start again tomorrow.

And the Winner is....

Gail Vaz-Oxlade!  I chose Gail for my financial mentor because she seems to believe in balance.  Finding balance has become my personal mission, and honestly, I think Suze Orman is lacking in that area. Here's what I mean:

Suze Orman has a segment on her show called, "Can I Afford It?" where people call in, tell Suze they want to spend money on whatever, and Suze goes through their financial profile and approves or denies the request.  Some are a no-brainer, some need to be puzzled out.  Suze always explains why she approves or denies each request.  However. Once in a while a caller will be approved, but Suze will say, "I've approved you, but now I want to talk you out of doing this.  If you put this money away for retirement now, you will have XXX in fifty years.  Your whatever can wait."  One such caller was a woman who had finished graduate school with no student loans.  She had a job that was starting in four months, and she wanted to spend the interim traveling through Europe.  She had cash saved for the trip.  Suze approved the request, but tried to talk her out of going saying Europe would still be there in ten or twenty years. 

Well, of course Europe will still be there, but really, Suze, do you think this woman will have FOUR MONTHS away from work to just go wander?  I doubt it.  She also may be married or raising kids in ten or twenty years. She might have aging parents who need her help.  She might have a dog and a mortgage and a big pile of responsibility.  Right then, she had the time, she had the money, and she had the desire.  Suze still tried to talk her out of it.

Now, when Gail counsels a family, she doesn't try to talk them out of living their dreams. She does, however, teach them how to budget for them.  No matter how tight a family's budget is, Gail always has something set aside for entertainment.  Sometimes it's only ten bucks, but it's something. She recognizes the need to have some fun once in a while.

Gail had a couple who were planning to put their honeymoon on their already straining credit cards.  Gail didn't tell them not to go, she told them not to go without having the cash first.  She helped them budget the trip, she sent them to a travel show to learn how to find the best deals, and she helped them figure out that if they really wanted the honeymoon, they would have to work extra hours for six months prior to save the cash up.  That, to me, is the better way. 

Show Me the Money!

My attempts to become more fiscally stable have led me to research various financial gurus' budget plans.  I've studied Dave Ramsey's plan, I watch Suze Orman every week, and I've followed Gail Vaz-Oxlade for over a year now.  After considerable research, all I have is a headache.

The first thing I wanted to find out is simply, "How am I doing?" I have some savings, some retirement, some investments.  I have good equity in my home.  I don't have a car loan and my medical bills are paid.  On the other hand, I have a credit card balance and I don't have the recommended eight months' expenses saved in my emergency fund.  My car is over ten years old.  The next few months will bring more medical bills. My furnace is twenty years old.  I feel like I'm doing okay, but I really do not know, at this point in my life, if I'm on track for the future, for retirement, etc.  Even after my research, I'm still not sure.

No matter who's plan you look at, the basics are the same: live on cash, don't carry consumer debt, save for retirement and keep a liquid emergency fund.  Which leads me to my next question:  what, exactly, constitutes an emergency?  I know a job loss is one thing, but what about  something less drastic?  What if, say, my car breaks down?  Do I take the repair cost out of my emergency fund?    Or do I walk to work until I save enough money to get it fixed? Do I need a "big time" emergency fund and a "little crap that adds up" emergency fund?  If I ever accumulate the recommended eight months' expenses in my savings, I want to make sure I'm handling it correctly.

I think what I need to do is just pick a plan. One plan, and stick to it. I'm waffling between Suze and Gail right now (sorry Dave!) and, while their objectives are the same, I think they each have a unique approach.  While I try to puzzle it all out, I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing.  I don't have an urgent need to change anything, other than my own desire to make sure I get and stay on track financially as quickly as possible.   Cancer is scary, but having cancer without adequate financial resources is terrifying.  I don't ever want to be in that position again.