“So how’s the diet going?” you might ask. Here’s the thing: I’m not sure. I started the week full of energy and enthusiasm, ready to meet each challenge head on. I took at walk each morning as the sun was coming up. I packed healthy snacks for work and went over a week without visiting the vending machine even once. I got out on my bike every chance I got. I chewed sugarless gum when the cravings hit, and I cut back on soda in favor of iced tea or water. I roasted a whole turkey breast and ate white meat with green salads for supper, trading in my beloved bleu cheese dressing for balsamic vinaigrette. Pretty good right? I thought so, too.
One morning, I think it was Day 5, I was out walking and my capris kept sliding down around my hips. Now, I know that five days isn’t long enough to shrink out of your clothes, so I went home and tried on another pair of pants. They, too, were very loose. My original plan was to weigh in only once a week so as not to get caught up in the day-to-day fluctuations we all have, but I was so excited about my too-big pants that I locked myself in the bathroom and pulled out the scale. There was a FOUR POUND difference. Unfortunately, it was four pounds in the wrong direction. What the hell??? I guess my pants were falling off because I’d sprung the elastic or something. It certainly wasn’t weight loss. I was immediately angry and sad, and I vowed not to weigh myself again until Day 7. I decided my body must be retaining water or something because nobody gains four pounds in five days of clean eating.
Here on Day 11, I’m still carrying three and a half of the four pounds. So that means my new goal is 46 pounds. That also means I have no idea what I’m doing.