Cold Is A Relative Thing....

You don't want to hear how my day went.  And I don't want to complain to my friends.  So instead, I thought I'd share something that turned up in my email inbox.  I don't know who wrote it, but it wasn't me. That counts as a disclaimer, right?  No plagiarism here.  Anyway - Enjoy!

Cold is a relative thing ya know....

At 65 degrees, Arizonans turn on the heat. People in Minnesota plant gardens. 
At 60, Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Minnesota sunbathe. 
At 50, Italian & English cars won't start. People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.. 
At 40, Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt. 
At 35, New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold. 
At 20, People in Miami all die. Minnesotans close their windows. 
At 0, Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Minnesota get out their winter coats. 
At 10 below zero, Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door. 
At 20 below, Washington DC runs out of hot air. (Ya think? Nah.). People in Minnesota let their dogs sleep indoors. 
At 30 below, Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the snowmobile. 
At 40 below, ALL atomic motion stops. People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold enough for ya, eh?" 
At 50 below, hell freezes over. Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.