Today, the People people responded to my email dated March 4. Yep, that's right, March 4. Their "official" response time is two days. Ahem. Anyway, this is what they had to say:
Thank you for contacting PEOPLE Customer Service.
Our records show that you have contacted customer service already.
Yep, that's it. That is the reponse I have waited for during these past 17 days. If I wasn't out almost forty bucks I'd think this was funny. Losing forty bucks is not funny. So, you know, I thought maybe I'd help a girl out. I sent Ms Denise A a few pointers:
Yes, I have contacted customer service already. Like, fifty times or something. But the issue IS NOT RESOLVED. I have not received ANY ISSUES of this magazine that I ordered in September.
You know, your customer service sucks so bad I almost wonder if John Quinones is going to ring my doorbell and tell me this whole thing was a test to see how far you had to push people before they break and start cussing. Well, THIS is how far.
In case I'm wrong, and your customer service just sucks, here is a lesson on how you treat people who send you money and do not get the goods as promised:
Step 1. Apologize for your error.
Step 2. Fix the problem. In this case, correct my address in your system.
Step 3. Fix any problems caused by your original problem. In this case, reset my subscription dates so that I get all of the 19 issues I paid for.
Step 4. Apologize again, sincerely, and ask if there are any other issues that need your attention.
Please do not email me again until you have done steps two and three. And please include step four in your email. Thank you.