I should be in bed. I have to get up in five hours for my surgery. All day I alternated between feeling relieved to finally be taking some action and mind numbing fear. It wasn't so bad while I was at work ~ I was busy there, too busy to think about it. But now, at home, well, if I manage to sleep at all it will be a miracle. It doesn't help that I'm normally still at work at this time of night, or that Lily is running around like a hummingbird on speed.
Tomorrow, I see Dr U who will insert wires through my skin into the tumors. Then I have a three hour wait for the surgery. Dr C is doing what she calls a quadrectomy, like a lumpectomy on steroids. She'll be taking the four little tumors out in a section that looks kind of like a wedge of orange. She's going to do a sentinel node dissection, too. If all goes well, I'll be home by suppertime. Of course all will go well. Being me, I'll pack a little bag anyway, just in case. I don't want to get stuck wearing paper underwear again, like I did after my emergency appendectomy.